Page 29 of Breaking Matt
He slumped over me and I felt the heaviness of him pin me to the bed for a few moments as he tried to catch his breath. I loved the feel of his masculine body pressing mine into the mattress. He pressed a kiss to my lips. Our bodies were slick with sweat as we lay connected for a few more minutes. I wanted it to last longer, but he eased out of me and rolled onto his back beside me.
There were no words. What did you say after sleeping with the guy who had betrayed you and turned your feelings for him to hate? I felt his eyes on me, but I refused to look at him. He reached for a blanket and covered us up. It was time to talk about what happened and what it meant to me. I didn't want him to think that one fuck erased the betrayal between us.
I turned onto my side to face him. He was watching me.
"That was great," I said with a satisfied smile.
Sex had always been earth-shattering with him. No one had ever made me feel the way he did. I always thought the sex had been better because we had an emotional connection, but I hoped it wasn't the case. I wanted to work him out of my system without emotions. I wanted to place him back into the sole category of someone I had awesome sex with.
He remained quiet. Maybe he was trying to figure out where I was going with this.
"I have needs," I began to say. "And you take care of them very nicely."
I saw a flash of anger before he masked his features.
"What game are you playing?" he asked, trying to keep his temper under control.
"We were always good together when it came the bedroom," I reminded him as I sat up, not bothering to hide my nakedness. He'd seen it all before. He knew every inch of my body and there was no reason to pretend he didn't.
"So you just want sex?" he asked, showing no emotion. It was like we were talking about the weather.
"Why not?" I asked him with a shrug. Loads of people did the friends-with-benefits thing. I thought it was a brilliant plan. He knew what I liked and what I didn't, which made him a great candidate. Besides, it wasn't going to be possible to find someone else to screw if I had to pretend he was my boyfriend.
"We can enjoy each other until this arrangement is over," I said, laying out the terms of what I wanted.
He stared at me with an unreadable expression.
"Think about it," I said as I got out of his bed. I didn't look back as I walked out of his room.
I wanted to be sure he would do as I wanted, but I had no idea if he would. I hated the uncertainty of it. That was the thing about Matthew—I never fully knew where I stood with him.
I went into the living room and picked up my discarded clothes. I thought about my panties still lying on the floor of his bedroom and smiled to myself. He could keep them. They could be a reminder of what he could have if he allowed us to enter into the arrangement where we could find physical release with each other.
Back in my room I showered and changed. It didn't surprise me that Matthew was busy in the kitchen cooking when I finally came out of my bedroom. I was happy the effects of my orgasm had made me feel happy and relaxed. Whatever he was making smelled mouth-watering and I leaned against the kitchen doorway as I watched him.
"Are you going to stand there forever or are you going to help me?" he asked, still concentrating on the task of cooking.
"Sure. What do you want me to do?" I asked. I walked into the kitchen before standing beside him. Sex between us had taken away some of the uneasiness that had been caused by my hurt and anger.
"You can make the salad," he instructed, giving me a glance. I nodded and tried to keep myself from thinking about what we'd been doing just half an hour ago.
Being so close to him made me super aware of him and I felt my body tingle where he'd touched me. It was unbelievable I could want him again so soon after we'd been together. It shouldn't have surprised me because our physical side had always been good.
The problem with us had been the truth.
Silence settled between us as we both got on with our tasks. I set the table and he brought the food over. He sat down and dished up some salad onto his plate as I watched him. The anger I'd felt before had slowly began to dissipate. It probably had something to do with being physically close to him and being unable to keep my feelings out of it.
It wasn't love. It was sex and nothing more. It made me believe this was the only way forward between the two of us.
"So did you think about it?" I asked out of the blue. I didn't have a lot of patience and I wanted to know where he stood on the subject.
He looked at me and set his knife and fork down beside his plate.
"Yes, I thought about it," he said, holding my gaze. He had that poker face on again and I didn't have a clue which way he was going to go.
I stopped what I was doing and gave him my full attention.
"No," he said, and I felt my jaw drop open from shock. I hadn't expected that. Maybe it was because I was always used to getting what I wanted and at the moment I wanted him on my terms.
