Page 45 of Breaking Matt
"I'll check in with you later," Matthew said to Mark.
Mark nodded and then went back into the room with Courtney. I felt dead on my feet, and when I got into the car, I yawned.
"I'll have you home soon," Matthew assured me as he started up the engine.
Chapter Fourteen
By the timeI entered the apartment behind Matthew, I was exhausted. Without a word I walked into the room, kicked off my shoes and climbed onto my bed. I studied the ceiling, hoping it would help calm the fear and chaos inside. I wasn't one to be scared easily—but what had happened to Courtney had created a deep-seated fear I was struggling to cope with. It felt like my world was spinning out of control and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
The sound of footsteps outside my room made me look to see Matthew leaning in the doorway. He looked at me with concern. It wasn't something I was used to and I didn't like that I felt so weak and vulnerable.
"I need to make some phone calls," he said softly. I nodded.
He seemed to realize I needed space because he left me alone in my room. In the background I could hear the steadiness of his voice as he talked to someone. I couldn't make out the words and I wasn't sure I wanted to.
I closed my eyes and all I could see was Courtney's badly beaten face and the fear in her eyes. Suddenly it felt like I couldn't breathe, so I sat up. Feeling panicked, I breathed in deeply and my lungs opened up. I'd always been in control and to feel so scared went against who I was. I stood up and began to pace the room, needing to figure a way to get myself together. I didn't understand why the bad people who were after me had hurt my friend—why would they do that?
No matter how much I racked my brain I couldn't answer the question.
I decided taking a shower would maybe help keep my mind from concentrating on Courtney's attack. Maybe keeping my mind busy with simple tasks would push the unwanted thoughts from my mind.
Stripping off my clothes in the bathroom, I tried not to think, but it was nearly impossible. Even inside my shower with the warm water running down my body I couldn't stop the images of Courtney from flashing through my mind. I leaned my head against the cool tiles of the shower trying to get a handle on myself, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop the fear from overwhelming me.
By the time I made it out of the shower, I was a mess. I wrapped a towel around my body. Being alone wasn't working so I went looking for Matthew. Still with only the towel wrapped around my damp body, I found him staring out the window of the apartment. At the sound of my soft footsteps against the wooden floor he turned to look at me.
For a moment he studied me when I stopped a few feet away from him. His hands were in his pockets as his eyes swept over my face. Water dripped onto the floor but I didn't care.
I couldn't put my feelings into words to explain to him what was going on inside of me. His eyes held mine as he watched me quietly. Maybe he was trying to figure out why I was standing in front of him wearing only a towel. This wasn't about seduction, this was about needing some sort of comfort.
He took his hands out of his pockets and he stepped forward. One step and then another brought him closer, closing the distance between us until finally he stopped in front of me and cupped my face. His eyes held mine.
"It's okay," he said gently, as if sensing my vulnerable state.
I closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the feel of his soft touch to my skin. Being so close to him had eased the destructive emotions taking control of me and it had given me a moment of peace. His thumb gently brushed my cheek and I opened my eyes. All thoughts I'd struggled to push from my mind faded into the background and all I could concentrate on was the man in front of me, and how he made me feel, emotionally and physically.
"Tell me what you need," he murmured.
In that instant I knew exactly what I needed. My hands released the towel and I stood in front of him naked. I didn't need to explain what I wanted from him in words. He released me gently, his eyes taking in the action and he stilled.
"I need you," I said. There was no mistaking what I was talking about. There was a vulnerable quality to my voice, and he looked like he was struggling with what to do.
"Is this what you want?" he asked gently.
It wasn't about sex—it was being close to someone in the most intense way. Being with him made me think of nothing else but him. He also had a calming effect on me that helped soothe the emotions I was struggling with.
"Yes," I said breathlessly.
He stepped forward and touched my arms. I tilted my face up to his as he leaned closer and kissed me.
My hands slid around his neck as his lips moved against mine. His hands moved to my waist and he pulled me closer. Gasping at the intensity of the kiss, I opened my mouth slightly and he took full advantage, sliding his tongue into my mouth. He gently swirled it against mine and I felt myself tremble.
I was still holding on to him tightly when he pulled back slightly, breaking the heated kiss. His eyes were dark as his eyes found mine.
"Are you sure?" he asked. My answer was to lift myself onto my tiptoes and press my lips to his. I needed him like I needed air; without him I could shrivel up and die at any moment.
He lifted me up bridal-style and carried me to his room. I held on to him like a lifeline that I would die without. He put me on his bed and stepped back for a moment. His eyes feasted over my naked form, taking in each soft curve.
"You're beautiful," he whispered in awe.
