Page 82 of Breaking Matt
With a hand on either side of me, caging me in, he kissed me again. It left my knees weak. He moved down and took a nipple into his mouth. While he sucked, I raked my hand through his hair as I closed my eyes, giving in to my body, which craved his.
When he straightened, I was hanging on by the thinnest thread, ready to break at any moment. My hands went to his trousers. I fumbled with his belt and then the top bottom. His lips dropped kisses along my collar bone.
I pushed his trousers down and then his boxers. My hand closed over his hardness. It was velvety and smooth. There were no words. He yanked down my bikini bottoms and I kicked them free. I needed him as much as he did me. He lifted me slightly and lined his body against mine. I sank down on him with a gasp.
It was unlike anything I had ever experienced with him. He fucked me up against the wall as I held his broad shoulders and gasped while my legs wrapped around his waist, angling our bodies as close as we could.
He set a fast pace and soon I felt the familiar tightening of my body as I came. He continued to thrust into me as I held on. His body tensed and he rested his head in the hollow of my neck as he released into me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him while we tried to catch our breath.
It had been wild and all-consuming. Every atom of my being was tuned to his and I didn't want it to end. I unwrapped my legs and Matthew disengaged. I leaned against the wall as he pulled away to get dressed.
There was no emotion in his features as I watched him. My chest was rising and falling quickly with each breath.
As the silence between us continued, it became more and more uncomfortable. I waited for him to say something but he didn't. He refused to look at me, turning his back while he tucked his shirt in and tied his belt.
Only when he was completely dressed did he turn his attention to me. I was still naked, having made no attempt to get dressed.
I stood with my arms at my sides, refusing to hide my nakedness from him. His eyes slid over me and I felt uneasy that he hadn't spoken a word. I had expected something, even if it was only in anger, but there was nothing.
Then without any forewarning he turned and I watched, stunned. He left the pool house and closed the door behind him.
The ache in my chest split open like a new wound and I swallowed hard. My throat burned as I felt the sting of tears. This time I didn't fight them. Something had been lost.
In all the time we'd been together he had never been this rough and I had loved every second of it, but the hollowness I felt at the way he had abruptly left without a word tainted it. I slid down until I rested my chin on my knees staring at the closed door Matthew had walked out of. I'd hoped once we'd been intimate again it would fix whatever I had broken but it hadn't. And I had no idea what to do next.
Lost was how I felt when I finally stood up and scooped my clothes up. I couldn't let Mark come looking for me and find me like this.
With shaking hands, I got dressed. I struggled slightly with the clasp of my bikini top. Once I was dressed I walked out of the pool house. Standing in front of the pool, watching the water glisten in the sunlight, I tried to figure out how it had all gone so wrong.
Remembering the way he had viewed my nakedness before he had left without a word made it harder to breathe and my eyes watered. A tear slid down my cheek as I continued to stare, unseeing, wrestling with the heartache I was experiencing.
The water beckoned to me, offering me a way to stop the pain. I fell into the pool. The shock of the freezing water wrapped around me, making me unable to feel anything but the shock of the cold. I let myself sink, allowing the coldness to ease the pain inside.
There was a sound of something crashing into the water, and a hand pulled me to the surface. I fought against it as it dragged me out of the pool.
"What the hell are you doing?" Mark said. His forehead was furrowed as he glared at me. He was soaked, his clothes matted his skin.
I pulled out of his grasp and waded over to the steps.
"Sarah." He wasn't going to let it go.
"It wasn't what you think," I threw over my shoulder.
He wiped his face as he followed behind me. "It looked like you were trying to drown yourself."
Remembering my reasons returned that awful feeling in the middle of my chest. The temporary numbness was already gone.
He stopped me just as I stepped out of the pool. My body was starting to tremble from the cold. Water dripped down my face and body.
"Why?" he asked. His eyes searched mine as if he could find the answer in them.
I closed my eyes briefly, trying to overcome the emotions I was feeling. "I just needed the pain to stop."
He frowned and began to look for injuries.
I pulled my arm out of his hold. "I'm not physically hurt."
Then realization filtered into his eyes. "What happened?"
