Page 86 of Breaking Matt
"What has gotten into you today?" my mom said as she walked in with a bag of groceries that had been dropped off.
"Matthew is going for a meeting with someone at eleven."
My mom set the bag down on the counter.
"So?" she asked as she began to unpack the groceries. I knew when my mother was trying to keep something from me—she always refused to look me in the eye. My eyes narrowed as I studied her.
I walked over to her and sat down, facing her. "Do you know what it's about?"
"No," she said, looking intently at the breakfast box she had just taken out of the bag.
"Stop lying to me!" My anger sprang to life. It was one thing for Mark not to tell me what was going on, but it was a whole different story when it came to my mother. We'd always been so close and shared so much, more than most mothers and daughters.
She let out a deep sigh before meeting my gaze.
"He's going to speak to Nick," she said.
Horror filled me.
"Why?" I asked, disbelieving he would put himself right in the lion's den.
"I don't know all the details."
I stood up on shaking legs, feeling like my whole world had shifted and I was trying to right everything. My mind went over all I'd overheard and the pieces finally began to fit together. What I still didn't know was the reason why he thought going to visit Nick would resolve the situation.
An image of Nick with his empty eyes appeared in my mind and I began to pace.Oh, my God. How could this be happening?
I put my hand to my forehead and shoved my hair out of my face.
"It'll be okay," my mother started to say as she put down the cereal box and walked over to me.
She tried to touch my arm with her hand, but I stepped out of her hold.
"None of this is okay!" I said, disbelief and anger filling me. "How could you let him do something so stupid?"
My eyes shot to the time. It was a quarter past eleven already. It was too late to stop him. I strode out of the kitchen in search of Mark. I found him checking the back yard.
He stilled when he caught sight of me walking to him.
"How could you?" I asked, feeling helpless.
"Do what?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
"You knew he was going to meet with Nick and you let him." I had to take a deep breath.
"He is a grown man and he gets to make his own decisions." I hated how calm he sounded when I felt like my life was spinning out of control and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
"You're his friend," I said angrily. "You should have talked him out of it."
Would you have been able to?My anger evaporated and all I was left with was the realization there was nothing I could do. Even putting the blame on someone wouldn't change or stop what was happening.
"I can't stop him from doing what he thinks is right."
I put my hand to my head. All I could do now was hope nothing happened to him.
I'd paced so muchthere was a groove in the carpet beneath my feet. Every minute that passed felt like forever. By noon I was biting my nails again.
Mark walked into the living room and I looked at him expectantly. He shook his head. It had only been an hour, I reminded myself. I felt like I was going to go stir crazy.
