Page 107 of Loving Taylor
"Don't be scared," I told her. "The way I feel about you is nothing like I've ever felt before."
She looked less hesitant at my assurance.
"When I heard that you'd been taken, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest," I admitted. "I've never been so scared in my life."
I let out a deep breath, holding her gaze. I wanted her to see how much it had affected me.
"I never want to feel that again," I said, pressing a kiss to her forehead to assure the resurge in fear from the memory that she was safe with me. "I felt so guilty that I'd left you and then you went missing."
"There was nothing you could've done to stop Eric."
I wasn't convinced of that. "Maybe...maybe not."
Still feeling unsure of how to date, I wanted her to know that I was committed to this.
"I won't lie—I have no idea how to do this, but I promise to try to do everything I can to make you happy," I promised, hugging her.
I had fought so hard for this moment.
"When I first saw you, I never imagined we would end up where we are now."
I'd tried to convince myself that she was only going to be a temporary arrangement that would run its course, but from the first moment she'd affected me differently than any other girl.
I released her.
"From the first time I saw you, I knew there was something different about you," I told her, cupping her face.
"Really?" She stared at me.
"Yes. And then you came to see me, wanting me to 'take advantage' of you."
She looked mortified and I smirked. She was so different and I had seen it in her from the start.
"But why did you turn me down?"
"You were so innocent." I trailed my knuckles down her face, still in awe of her. "And I wasn't. You deserved so much better than me."
She shook her head
"I'm so glad you were my first," she breathed softly.
I didn't want to think what I would have missed out on if I hadn't agreed to taking her virginity. It was something I didn't want to even consider.
"I tried to do the right thing—I really did—but I couldn't stop thinking about you. And then I saw you drinking with Slater and I couldn't handle seeing you with someone else."
"You were jealous?" I smiled and nodded.
"I think I was and then I knew that, even though you deserved better, I couldn't let you go. I couldn't stand the thought of you being with someone else. I knew I would have to step up and give you what you wanted or I would lose you."
Opening up wasn't something I usually did but with her it was so easy. It was also my way of allowing her to see I was serious about her.
"And then after our night together?" she asked.
"One night with you was never going to be enough," I admitted. "I was always going to want more."
"But I saw you with hat girl," she reminded me.
Nothing had happened with that girl.
