Page 78 of Revealing Mark
I nodded, finding it difficult to open up about things I had fought so hard to keep hidden.
“Matthew is so together all the time, and Sophie isn’t anything like me either.”
“Siblings are different,” he murmured. “I’m nothing like my brother.”
“It’s not just that. It became a joke with how different I looked from Matthew and Sophie, but it made me feel different too, and it went deeper than just that.”
He studied me but kept quiet.
“I always felt like I was missing something. Finding out about Robert made me realize what I’d been looking for.”
“I’m listening,” my dad prompted softly. I could see this was difficult for him but I had to say it. Maybe things might have worked out differently if I had been honest about it earlier, but I couldn’t live in a place where there was no possibility of a different outcome.
“He loved to paint. Maggie showed me a whole bunch of stuff he had painted and I finally have something that connects me to someone. I finally feel like I’ve found what I’ve been searching for. I have inherited my creativity from him. It doesn’t sound like much, but I feel like I belong.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” It came out as a whisper.
“I didn’t want you and Mom to feel like you’d failed me in some way.”
He looked slightly overcome, and I reached out a hand to touch his arm. “I’m still mad and hurt but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
His eyes watered and I moved forward to hug him. He returned the hug with a tight grip around me.
“We love you so much. I still consider you my own and I… always will.”
I closed my eyes while I was overcome with more emotion, which was difficult to cope with.
“And you’re still my dad.” He hugged me more tightly.
“Can’t…breathe,” I managed to get out, and he released his hold.
He smiled. “Sorry.” He kissed my forehead.
“It’s so good to see you again. Your mom has really been struggling with your absence.”
His eyes searched mine.
“Tell her I’ll be around for lunch on Sunday.”
His whole face lit up. “Really?”
I nodded. “I don’t want to hurt either of you but I had to have time to work through it.”
“She’ll be so happy.”
I didn’t know if it would be possible to return to the same relationship we had before, but maybe we could build something new.
“I’ll have a talk to Matthew as well.”
He rubbed his brow. “I don’t know if he’ll come around.”
His anger stemmed from my pain. I was sure if he saw I was making the effort to put it behind us it would be easier for him to do the same.
“Let me handle him,” I assured him.
After my meeting with my dad, I wrestled with the decision of if I was ready to tell my brother about Mark, but I didn’t want to take that step until I was sure this thing with him had a chance.
It was on my mind again when I opened the door to my apartment building later that evening, to see Mark. He leaned casually, waiting for me to let him in.
