Page 95 of Revealing Mark
It gnawed at my mind for the next day but I never mentioned it.
It was the truth, but I wasn’t sure it had been the right time to blurt it out. It had been a monumental step for me and his response hadn’t exactly been a run in the opposite direction but it was almost like he had side-stepped it by carrying on like I had never said anything at all. I was too scared to bring it up so I tried to forget I had said anything at all. I had convinced myself it was for the best.
“Are you busy tomorrow?” he asked when he arrived later that day.
I checked my schedule but I had no appointments. I had planned working on some touch-ups and going through some pictures I needed to send out. While I was recovering, I had tried to clear my schedule as much as I could. Carrying around large equipment wasn’t conducive to healing bruised ribs.
“Nope. Why?” I asked, looking up curiously from my screen.
He looked uncomfortable as I lowered my phone.
“It’s my grandfather’s funeral,” he announced with a touch of sadness that pulled at my heartstrings.
Well, I hadn’t expected that. “You want me to go with you?” I asked, wanting to make sure we were on the same page.
He nodded. “It’s a low-key, family thing.”
Family. I would be meeting his family. My stomach fluttered. This felt like the first time he had opened up without me pushing him.
“You sure?” I asked, wanting to make sure he didn’t feel pushed into doing something he wasn’t ready to do.
“Yes.”
“Will your whole family be there?” I prodded, needing some information so I didn’t walk into it without knowing some details.
“Pretty much just my immediate family.” He didn’t seem happy about that, the distastes evident in his features.
“Mom?” I asked anxiously.
He nodded.
“Dad?”
He nodded again.
I wanted to ask more questions but he was pretty distant so I kept myself from prodding further. He was letting me in to a part of life he kept off limits. This was confirmation I had sought for, so I felt more secure in our relationship than I had before.
I was well aware my own insecurities also played havoc with my expectations, but so far so good.
Despite his emotional distance, we ended up spending the night together, but he made a point of leaving before the sun came up. It felt like the closer I got to him the further emotionally he withdrew.
I surveyed my appearance in the mirror, meticulously checking my makeup and attire. I was nervous and I smoothed my skirt. I was dressed in all black with slight high heels and just a touch of makeup. I had taken off the bandage and hid my stitches with my hair.
Checking the time, I did one more sweep before I put some pearl earrings on and grabbed my purse. Mark would be here any minute to pick me up.
I let out a nervous breath before I touched up my lipstick again to try and keep myself busy, so I couldn’t let my thoughts run wild with my insecurities about Mark.
There was a knock and I hurried to answer it.
“You ready?” he asked.
I nodded, closing the door behind me.
Instead of holding my hand like he might have before, he walked beside me. I could tell by the way his mouth pulled and how he fidgeted slightly that he was nervous. The drive wasn’t long and I had to admit I was a bundle of nerves by the time Mark opened the door and helped me to my feet.
We made our way to the burial site and I felt saddened by the end of a life even though I had never met him. I could tell he had meant a lot to Mark and that was enough for me to feel his loss. There were a handful of people all dressed in black but it was still difficult to pinpoint who was who. Mark stood with his hands behind his back, his face slightly bowed, not making eye contact with anyone standing on the opposite side.
I stayed close to him, only allowing myself to sneak in a few looks across the open grave to the strangers, but I couldn’t figure out who anyone was. There were a few couples and a few older people. We listened to the priest and, after he was done, they lowered the coffin into the ground. Mark was quiet, his eyes intense as he watched. I reached for his hand and squeezed it.
