Page 101 of Dance with Me on New Year's Eve

“Shut up.”

And that internal voice—the one that had always reminded me I was worthless—didn’t stop.

At first.

But I kept shouting back. Again and again until …

All was quiet.

Inside and out.

Peace.

With my limbs shaking but feeling lighter, I stood up slowly and grabbed a towel.

“Finally,” I whispered.

Chapter 28

Isighed while spinning around in the cushy black leather chair I’d hand-selected for the individual offices. “I really am sorry. I didn’t think.”

Julia was silent for a moment on the other end of the phone line. “I know you are, Roxy. Just don’t disappear again without a little warning. Just a ‘hey, I need some time to just sulk and pine for my lost love while foregoing all life tasks, including communicating with my best friend’—that would be enough. I just want to know you’re OK.”

The hurt in her voice gutted me. “You’re right. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. And if I’m ever in that awful state again, I promise I’ll do my best to reach out,” I promised her. “Thank you for listening to my literal sob story. Wait, actually … there is one more thing. I’ve finally decided … I made a belated New Year’s resolution to … Oh, Julia, I don’t know why this is so hard to say.” I paused and cleared my throat. “I–I’m going to get help. I already called this morning and set up an appointment with a therapist, and I’m going to try that meetup group again. I’m tired of living like this.”

Again, she was silent. “Wow. I’m so proud of you, Roxy.”

“Thank you. It was honestly pretty scary making that call.”

“Of course it was. I hope it helps,” she said quietly. “I wish …”

“What do you wish?”

“I wish I could do the same. Therapy just doesn’t work for me.”

“Or maybe you’ve just never been truly ready,” I suggested. “And that’s OK.”

After a long pause, she spoke in a more cheerful tone. “Thanks. Yeah, I’m too busy right now anyway. My eyes are so sore every night from studying constantly. Hey, speaking of exhaustion, I should probably let you go soon. It’s getting late here.”

“Sure, you go get some rest. And thanks for being the best friend a shy girl could ever have.” I smiled, even though she couldn’t see me. “I’m so lucky.”

“Right back at you. Love you, Rox.”

“You too.” I ended the call and looked around the room for at least the twentieth time today.

As soon as I accepted her job offer this morning in person, Hazel had been generous and offered me the second-best office, right next to hers. This was the first day of the rest of my life, and I felt both nervous and excited. I honestly wasn’t sure if I could cope with working in this field again, but Hazel reminded me I would never know if I didn’t try.

My eyes drifted toward the open window from this office into the rest of the suite and landed on a curious sight. A woman was standing at the front desk with something wriggling in her arms. Was that apuppy?

I rose and walked over to the closed door. Opening it hesitantly, I immediately heard panting, and the woman laughed as she leaned on the reception desk.

“Hi, may I help you? I think our receptionist is at lunch. Do you have an appointment with Hazel?” I stared at her adorable little gray and white puppy, whose eyes were round as they stared up at me. “He is adorable.”

The woman smiled as she smoothed her dark, wavy hair behind her ear. Her eyes were a rich hazel, which caused a sharp pang in my chest that I was not prepared for. I inhaled and exhaled deeply and focused on smiling politely.

“I’m looking for Roxy, actually. Do you know where I can find her?”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, my eyes widening. “You’ve found her. I mean, I’m her. I’m me. Ah …”

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