Page 24 of Fast and Dirty

“I’m here, Toby!” I assure him as I dig between the stalks of the plant. “I dropped you out the window, sorry.”

“What the fuck happened?” He asks, once the phone is back in my hand and I straighten up, pulling a few dead leaves from my hair.

“I saw a naked ass and dropped you out the window,” I confess.

“What the hell kind of town are you in?” he asks, dubiously. “Seriously, I need to come down for a visit.”

“Let me figure out just how long I’m going to be here first,” I sigh, looking around the neighborhood. I really like the sun glinting through the leaves of the maple trees, and the quaint houses lining the quiet street and flower beds lining the walkways. And oh shit, that really is West’s garage that the nudist was catching some rays on. My eyes shift downward to a window, and while it’s not the one I dropped the desecrated plant out of, I can’t help but wonder if it is another side of West’s apartment. Agnes is a clever little minx.

“Well at least long enough to bang that tasty mechanic a few more times and see some more bare butts?”

“That’s not it!” I shout at him. “This place is perfect for me to take some time to pull myself together and figure out what to do with my life. Naked butts aside, I feel…safe and peaceful here!”

“I know honey,” his voice softens, clearly done giving me shit and has his caring friend hat back on. “Listen, do you need me to float you some money?”

“No, it’s okay,” I let out a breath, touched by the offer. “I was able to get twelve hundred out of an ATM before daddy’s freeze went into effect. That’s enough to get me by while I find a job and build up some kind of nut to settle in here or move onto the next place.”

“You won’t come back here?” My heart cracks just a little at the forlorn quality in his voice. “Even after things blow over?”

“I just don’t know what I’d do with myself there,” I explain on a sigh. “I mean, besides being your butt buddy.”

“God, that was one sleepover!”

“You’ve got Jeffrey now, anyway, right?” I ask him trying to change the subject.

I listen to him tell me about his brunch date and how connected he feels to his new guy and the plans they’d made for the rest of the week. After assuring him we’ll both be just fine, I hang up and make my way back towards the front door where Agnes is chilling in a wicker rocking chair on the porch with a joint.

“Sorry I forgot to warn you about Naked Ned,” she gives me a grin.

“Should we tell West? Or the local police?” I ask with a slight grimace.

She waves a hand. “He ain’t hurting nobody. I’m the only one who knows about his lunch hour routine - and now you, of course,” she snickers.

Lucky me.

“Anyway,” she snuffs the joint out. “Time to make some lunch, and then we’ve got to head into town.”

“Okay,” I nod in agreement. “What for?”

“I need supplies, and you need to get your bearings.”

“Fair enough. Hey, is there any kind of clothing store in town?” I tilt my head after looking down and taking in my pretentious palazzo pants paired with the borrowed - stolen - autoshop t-shirt.

“Only second-hand, honey,” she reports as she stands.

“That’s actually… perfect,” I voice out loud as I follow her to the front door. There’s bound to be more casual clothes that people around here would be more used to seeing and it will save me some money. This is not the world where I need to drop fifty dollars on a pair of underwear.

“I’ve got something you can wear in the meantime.”

Not thirty minutes later,Agnes’s Jeep drifts into a parking space in front of Wear ‘n’ Tear Consignments. Not sure if the name of the store is promising, but I’m excited to look around and see what they’ve got. The sooner I do, the sooner I can change out of the muumuu Agnes lent me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s kind of cute, with its red floral print, and when I cinched it up in a knot on the side it could almost pass as a peasant top with the leggings she threw in. But I’m excited to find my own style.

The bell jingles as we push the door open, and I’m greeted by around nine hundred square feet of blue carpet with circular racks dispersed atop it.

After making our way to the back of the store where the checkout counter sits, the clerk lights up immediately when she sees my face.

“Oh thank god, a newcomer!”

I feel my eyes widening in a confused smile before she explains.

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