Page 29 of The Complication with the Best Man

“Will do. Enough about me though. How’s Shelly?”

Usually when I ask this question, he starts in on some story about something funny or amazing his wife has done, but he doesn’t do that this time. I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of the news I just told him, and he’s wondering how he gets off the phone and tells his wife that I got pregnant in one night.

“She’s good. Listen, I need to take the dog out, but let me know how things go tomorrow, all right?”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s thinking about. Maybe it bothers him too because he wants to be a dad so badly. “Thanks for checking in on me, Jack.”

“Send me a meme, and I won’t harass you with phone calls.” He laughs, but it’s not his usual one. “Bye, Harp.”

I hang up with him and connect my phone to the charger.

I’m nervous for tomorrow, but a part of me is looking forward to finally getting it over with. No more tiptoeing around Finn and Tamra, knowing I’m holding back something huge.

I look at my purse where it hangs on the hook on the back of my closed bedroom door. Great-Grandma Dori’s letter has been burning a hole through the leather since I put it in there. I’ve pulled it out a few times, thinking I was ready to read it, but every time, I just haven’t felt ready. It’s so unlike me. I’m usually the one who jumps headfirst into everything. But this feels different. My hand falls to my stomach.

Pregnancy.

I’m going to be a mother.

This feels monumental, whereas all the other impulsive things I’ve done in my life I just figured they’d work out one way or another. Head down the black diamond run on the mountain before I was ready? What’s the worst that can happen? I break a leg? It will heal. Go on a date with a guy I know there’s no future with but sleep with him anyway? So what if it’s a bad lay, life moves on, and if it’s a good one, all the better. Go out partying the night before a big test rather than study? I’ll do better on the next one, and if I don’t, it’s not the end of the world.

But having a baby is not something I can take lightly, and not something I can afford to mess up. There’re no do-overs.

Pulling the comforters back, I slide out of bed and retrieve the letter from my purse. I crawl back in bed and position my back against the headboard, staring at the envelope for a minute, my mind casting back to all the great memories I have with my great-grandma.

I run my finger along the seam, open the envelope, and unfold the letter.

Seeing her handwriting and reading the first line, I pause and take a deep breath before I start reading.

My Dearest Harper,

I never told you this because I would never want the other great-grandchildren to be jealous, but I always saw a lot of myself in you. You have that passionate spirit and chase after what you want, never afraid to tell it like it is. Believe me, I know better than anyone how much trouble that can get you into, but it’s a characteristic to be valued. People never have to wonder where they stand with you, and let’s face it, you’re always the life of any party.

But the downside of being bold and feisty is that people will judge. Hell, people are always judging whether they admit it or not, but when it comes to women like us, they tend to do so a little more vocally. Please don’t let that stop you from being the brave, headstrong, and free-spirited woman you are. There’s a good chance they’re just jealous because let’s be honest, it’s kind of fun being us, isn’t it?

I laugh and wipe a tear from my cheek. Yeah, it is…

Until it isn’t.

I have to assume if you’re reading this letter now it’s because you’re going through something hard. Something difficult. If I were still there, I’d give you some epic words of advice to be sure, but since I’m not, all I can tell you is—you can handle this. Whatever it is, I know you have the strength to get through it. Just continue being yourself, and you’ll figure it out, this much I know. Face the path ahead with the same wild abandon you bring to everything. Charge forward with confidence and let your heart and gut lead you in the right direction.

It’s a miracle you were brought into this world, and it was for a reason. Never let life snuff out your flame. You burn so bright, my darling, and the world deserves to bask in your light. Let that same light guide you through the dark times and come out the other side even stronger than you were before. It’s what you were born for.

Love always,

Great-Grandma Dori

I set the letter on the mattress and weep into my hands, purging all the self-doubt and uncertainty I’ve been feeling, releasing all the shame and fear. And when the final tear falls, I refold the letter and slip it back into the envelope, knowing Great-Grandma Dori is right.

Icando this. I may not have it all figured out yet, but this will not break me. No, in fact, this just might be the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m going to be a mother, and I’m going to be a damn good one.

twelve

FINN

Islept like shit last night despite the time change. For some reason, I couldn’t get Harper out of my mind. Finally, I admitted defeat and got up early to take a drive around. I knew there was a neighboring town called Sunrise Bay, so I decided to check it out. I grabbed a coffee from a place named The Grind, and now I’m walking around their cobblestone streets. Almost all the stores are closed, but no matter, I’m just killing time anyway.

I swallow the last of my coffee, my sore throat from this morning not having gone away like I hoped. I better nip this cold quick, so I stop by the drugstore to grab some cold and sinus medicine before I head back to Lake Starlight to meet Harper. The medicine I need is behind the counter, so I follow the big pharmacy sign on the back wall.

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