Page 118 of The Anchor Holds

Lately, I’d consistently felt war.

Yet now that I was standing in Jasper’s shadow, my skin iced over, and the remnants of the shield I used to wear when with him was not enough to ward off the chill.

A handful of seconds… That’s all it took, my reinforcements not fully erect due to being shocked. But it was enough time for Jasper. For him to see the weakness, the gaps in my shield.

He was in the middle of the dining area, standing out like a proverbial sore thumb amidst men in linen button-downs, polo tees and flip flops. As always, he was imposing, clad in a black suit, looking like a stain against the light décor.

People were already staring, whispering. Someone like Jasper operated in the shadows. Usually, people didn’t notice him until he was about to put a knife in their neck, but there were no shadows here. And though people didn’t know exactly what he was, there was an aura about him that made you feel uncomfortable, scared. Curious, if you liked to flirt with destruction.

He didn’t seem uncomfortable under the light, under the gazes of people who didn’t know what he was. Blood pooled in my cheeks at how brazen he was being. It was a statement. He was no longer going to be confined to the shadows. I couldn’t hide from him, ignore him, nor could I hide him from the people in my life.

I grabbed him by the arm, although I really didn’t want to touch him, then I dragged him toward the patio.

Jasper was not a man who let himself be dragged anywhere or touched without his consent—doing so would be a good way to lose a hand—but he let me do both.

My heart was in my throat by the time I led us to a corner of the deck that was quiet enough to speak to him. But it was not private. I didn’t dare glance toward the bar to see if Elliot saw us. Jasper would note that, would take it for what it was, and he’d understand—if he didn’t already—what my feelings were for Elliot.

Which would put Elliot in a considerable amount of danger. Jasper had set a building on fire when he merely thought Elliot and I were just fucking. Who knew what he’d do if he ever found out I was in love with Elliot.

My throat constricted, making it difficult to breathe.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I hissed at Jasper. Realizing I was still gripping his arm, I dropped it like it was charged.

His eyes dropped to my hands. His face was still blank, but there was something in his eyes that worried me. An edge, something unhinged almost. I’d caught a quick glimpse of it the day of the fire, had made note of it, but I’d been too preoccupied with concern about Elliot to think too hard about it afterward. But looking at him now, it was clear to see that he was unraveling. Clear to me, at least.

Apprehension gnawed at my insides like battery acid. If Jasper was out of control, he was more dangerous than ever.

“Felt like a lobster roll. Heard this is the best place to get them.” His dark eyes bored into me.

My chest heaved as I fought to keep my composure, to slip back into the dynamic between us that used to be second nature. That used to be enticing.

I knew that I’d changed since meeting Elliot, at least logically. My hair, my clothes, my makeup, even my resting bitch face had relaxed somewhat. But never was the change so stark as when I stared at Jasper and saw the person I used to be—the person he expected me to be—staring back at me.

I hated her.

Hated Jasper for being here, soiling everything, reminding me of who I had been. Who I still was underneath it all.

“You’re allergic to shellfish,” I told him what he already knew. “But I’d be happy to serve you a lobster roll and watch you eat it.” Venom dripped from my words.

Jasper’s mouth didn’t so much as twitch, but his jaw softened with what I recognized as amusement. “So you haven’t had all of the bloodlust sucked out of you in Pleasantville.”

“I’ve still got plenty left for you,” I seethed, anger seizing my muscles. “I haven’t forgotten about the fire. Or the dead body. Though I guess you took my demand to never see you again as a request. Which it wasn’t. Leave.”

I spat the order at him, as if it were that easy to rid my life of Jasper. I knew it wasn’t. Had always known. We’d be in each other’s lives until the other’s heart stopped beating.

His brows lowered just a fraction, enough to show his displeasure with me. Not that I gave a fuck.

“I’m not here on a personal errand,” he replied without emotion. Yet I saw his eye twitch. “I’m here to relay a message. You’re expected back in New York. By month’s end. Not a request either.”

There it was. His protection, such as it was, was over. Whether his employer had truly reached the end of their patience or if Jasper was trying to punish me by tearing away my happiness was anyone’s guess.

I didn’t let any of my fear show. Nor did I let my satisfaction show either. I’d been expecting this. Had been working myself to the bone in order to find leverage juicy and powerful enough to buy my freedom and ensure I did not have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life.

For a while there, I didn’t think such information existed.

Until last week.

Jasper didn’t need to know that. I wasn’t going to be using him as an emissary anymore. Not with the dynamics between us so vitally changed.

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