Page 123 of Need You to Choose Me

“Alex,” I call out. “Oh, God. I’m—” My mouth opens as the hottest, purest orgasm racks through me, preventing me from finishing the sentence.

Not that I need to.

Alex can feel me breaking apart, jumping off the cliff to oblivion. The low sound he makes in the back of his throat drives him forward, following my lead and coming undone.

“Fuck,” he breathes, his sweaty forehead resting against my shoulder. “I forgot to pull out.”

Panic doesn’t seep through me because I’ve always been careful. “I’m on the pill,” I tell him, slowly catching my breath.

I roll over when he pulls out, watching as he stares at me.

“Okay,” he says quietly. “Good.”

I wet my lips. “I should go…” I gesture toward the bathroom across the hall.

He clears his throat. “Yeah. All right.”

It’s hard being sexy under the current circumstances, so I don’t bother trying. I get to the bathroom and wash up,redressing and finger combing my messy strands of hair before crawling under the blankets with him.

He’s quiet, his breathing calm as one of his fingers finds mine and wrapping around it.

“I can take the morning after pill if it makes you feel better,” I tell him to break the silence, and the tension I feel radiating from him.

Alex lets out a breath. “Only if you want to.”

I turn to him. “I don’t want kids, Alex. That’s something important that I think you should know. I don’t think I’m going to change my mind about it either.”

He turns his head to meet my eyes. His eyes study my face—my eyes, my mouth, then back up again. Even in the dim lighting, I can see his throat bob. “I don’t either. Maybe that makes me a shit person, but I just don’t see that life for me. I don’t have whatever gene makes people want to be a parent, and I don’t know if I’d be a good one to begin with.”

The finger wrapped around mine twitches.

I have no doubt he’d be a great father, just like I’d be a great Mom, but I understand where he’s coming from. “I’ll take a pill tomorrow. Just in case.”

That finger squeezes mine.

I lean forward and press my lips against his, letting them linger for a second or two. “I…” I swallow the words that threaten to slip out. “I’m going to miss you too.”

His nose rubs against mine. “Come to our first home game. I’ll get you a ticket. I want you there.”

I don’t even have to think about it. “Consider it done.”

His lips touch the tip of my nose.

We fall asleep holding pinkies.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Alex

The circles undermy mother’s eyes are barely noticeable today, and there’s a soft smile where an empty curve of her lips used to be. “You look good,” I compliment, sitting down on the couch across from her. “Real good, Ma.”

I see a tiny light in her eyes that hasn’t been there in some time. “I took a walk today to get fresh air with Evie and then I finished a crossword puzzle. Pam even helped me with it.”

I don’t know who Evie is, but I can’t help but return her smile. And her getting along with Pam is a step in a positive direction. “It sounds like you’ve had a good day so far. Did you want me to get you more crosswords? I found one that’s challenging. I’ve been working on it before bed, and it’s stumping me.”

“What about Olive? It’s not nice to ignore your girlfriend when you’re spending time together,” she chides lightly.

Normally, that label would terrify me. But I like hearing it. And I like more that my mother is the one addressing her as mine.

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