Page 144 of Need You to Choose Me

“I’m. Right. Here.” I say slowly, tugging on his lip with the pad of my thumb. “I know this is scary. I know you’ve been dealt a shitty hand in life, but I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t going to be like those annoying third-act breakups I read about in books because the couple is too afraid to work past their shit. We’re not going to be those people. Do you hear me?”

He blinks, which tells me I’m getting somewhere.

“I filled out my internship application and sent it in,” I continue, nodding with a small smile. “I don’t know if I’ll get it, but if I do, you’re sort of stuck with me. So stop acting like you want to push me away. I’m in this. Areyou?”

I hear the softest exhale from him that has me smiling a little wider. He blinks again, this time, his eyes focusing on mine.

“There you are,” I whisper. “You said yourself that this isn’t going to be easy. But if it’s going to work, we both need to put in the effort. I’m willing to do that, but you need to meet me halfway. Okay?”

Finally,finally, his head bobs.

Something in me shifts, a warmth spreading from my chest upwards. Happiness, I think. Hope, maybe? It’s something I don’t know if I’ve ever felt before.

“We’re allies, remember? A team.”

His eyes scan over me. “A team,” he agrees.

I blink, tears threatening to spill from the ducts they pool in. It feels good to be part of a team—an intimate one like this.It’s him and me, despite the odds. Who would have thought we would get here after he all but tore my heart out?

“You know, I kept thinking something was wrong with me for a long time. Bodhi Hoffman admitted he had feelings for me the other day. Feelings I didn’t know he had. It should have been obvious, but I was blind to it because there’s only one person I could ever think about. You.”

Those blue eyes of his darken.

“In the back of my mind, I thought there was no way I shouldn’t have fallen for somebody who made me feel that loved. He’s the type of guy who could have given me everything if I truly wanted it. But I didn’t. Because I never felt the same way as I have with you. With anybody. Not even when I hated you—when Iwantedto hate you. We fought and made up and got stuck in a cycle of what-ifs, but it never made me waver in how I felt. I liked when you took control. I liked when you wouldn’t give up, even when I told myself I wanted to move on. Soisthere something wrong with me?”

Alex’s eyes roam over my face. My right eye. My left eye. My nose. My wavering lips. He plucks the bottom one with the pad of his thumb and loosens a shaky sigh. “There isn’t anything wrong with liking how we do things. With liking it rough or fast or hard. There’s nothing wrong with taking control or making demands. You can feel cherished and loved in so many ways, Olive. If I’ve ever failed to make you feel that then…” He stops himself, his throat bobbing. “Not wanting to be with him doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. He’s just not your person. He doesn’t truly know what you want.”

“And you do?” I doubt.

His palm cups my face, his thumb caressing my cheek until I close my eyes and embrace the feeling. “I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry.

I melt into his hold, leaning my cheek against his palm and sucking in a breath when he says, “I’m sorry that I love how we fight. I love that we’re two forces to be reckoned with. I’m sorry that whatever love he could have offered you wasn’t enough. But I’mnevergoing to be sorry for loving you more.”

I start to shake my head but stop when he presses his fingers against my parted lips. “I need you to choose me, Olive. I need it to be me that you pick fights with and love to hate. I need it to be me that you get irritated with and vent to your friends about. I need you to be by my side, cheering me on, holding my hand while I deal with shit with my mom. I fucking need you to love me as much as I love you or it might actually kill me.”

I stare at him in disbelief, remembering what he said not that long ago that broke a piece of me. “You told me you’d never love me.”

“I lied.”

“You told me it was never going to be like that with us.”

“I couldn’tletit be then.”

“Then what changed?”

A pause. “Everything.”

We stare at one another.

Unblinking.

Barely breathing.

Chest to chest.

Hand to face.

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