I smiled a little at that.
“But as I got older, I envied them. I saw my dad wake up every day, trying to be a better man, even if it was in a small way, for my mom. And my mom did the same.”
I snorted. “I don’t know if I can say I’m a little better every day. There is definitely some backsliding.”
Especially lately, I thought.
“Not a better person,” he said. “Just trying to do better. I was terrible yesterday. I came home, gave everyone a kiss, and passed out.”
He did. He didn’t make it two minutes into the chef show before he was lightly snoring. “That was fine. You’re cute when you sleep.”
He smiled. “See? I thought I sucked, and you were fine with it.”
I fiddled with my plate. I felt less stressed out for some reason, and it wasn’t just because I liked his scent. I knew Alejandro cared about me, about Ember. About Ben and Rian.
Hearing his worries and fears along with his desire to be better made him feel more…relatable.
“These are all mostly good changes,” I said finally. “But I don’t like change at all so it’s still making me cranky even though I should be dancing around, happy.”
“You’re allowed to be cranky because everything is changing too much.” Alejandro nodded like I was being perfectly reasonable and not unhinged.
Boo-hoo, too many good things were happening to me. My teenage self would have killed to be here, right now, feeling safe alone in a room with an alpha.
More than safe. I was plotting the next time I could get him to fuck me.
“I decided to move here with my parents,” Alejandro added. “It was exciting. Logan was opening a new restaurant and wanted me to be sous chef. I helped him design the menu, the seating area, the name.” He shook his head.
I looked around. “It’s nice. Fancy without being snobby.”
“I was utterly certain I was going to fuck it up,” he said. “I just cook food. What do I know about running an actual restaurant? Logan walked me through the finances I had already helped with, the seating arrangements, everything.”
I nodded to let him know I was listening.
He smiled, soft and genuine. “I knew more than I thought, but still. It all seemed like it was too good to be true. I was sure I would screw up. I used to have nightmares of opening night, realizing I forgot to order silverware.” He kept holding my hand, his skin warming mine. “I told Logan and he laughed and said if I forgot to order silverware he’d borrow some until the order came in.” He patted my hand. “There was nothing to screw up. I did forget things. I messed up the napkin order and that seemed like the end of the world at the time, and now it’s hilarious.The guys still give me hell about making sure I order the right napkins.”
I smirked, filing that away so I could tell the entire rest of the pack to spring on Alejandro at a later date.
“But it was fine. We had the wrong napkins until the right ones came in.” He shrugged.
I gave him a withering look. “People aren’t napkins. You’re telling me things will be fine, and I can’t screw up, but I can and will.”
“Sure you will, just like me.” He gave me a big grin. “And then we’ll figure out the fix and move on.”
“It’s not that easy.” I scowled. We were back to me and my issues. I preferred the part of the conversation where he told me all his secret worries and fears.
“It’s simple, not easy.” He kissed the back of my hand. “It was hard, I’m sure, for you to trust Ember.”
My scowl got deeper, and I debated if he was going to pry, ask why I had such trust issues.
“I’m scared I’m going to mess up,” he said instead. “And I had loving parents who still nag me about when I’m going to settle down.”
“You can get them off your back now,” I said. “There’s that.”
“I can,” he said. “I just want you to know it’s okay to be annoyed about changes, even though it’s good and happy changes. There’s nothing wrong with feeling cautious. And you’re not going to screw anything up.”
I wanted to refute it, but so far, evidence proved the contrary. Ember had a panic attack and we went into heat, and so far the pack had just rolled with the punches. Neither of us had enjoyed nest shopping, so instead we went shopping for random stuff we didn’t need and it was better.
“I’m glad you came.” He kissed the back of my hand.