Page 6 of Privilege

“What do you mean it’s done? And who was that, I…” I hesitate, not sure whether to admit I recognized the guard.

“Stop it.” Zeph’s voice is tight.

I turn away. My heart, beating against my chest, has not slowed down. I wonder if I’m having a panic attack.

A bunch of adults file through a door in the front. The Guardian for Baltimore and her assistant set up at the desk in the middle. A couple of CSOs sit off to the right, and a group of guards from the lobby file in and cluster in the back. He’s there, the guard who scanned me.

It’s impossible not to notice him. The little kid who would wander off into the woods behind the community center where our MAV group met isverygrown up andveryhandsome. He could be modeling for advertisements or starring in government videos, even in his simple white shirt and uniform pants.

His face is carefully blank and he’s staring at the wall, not at us, but I think he knows we’re here, and he’s keeping tabs on us. There’s something in his posture, how he shifts a bit when my gaze returns to him. I’m not sure how he’s doing it, but he’s watching us.

The Guardian calls the room to order.

“This is the day you join the movement to eradicate violence and live in a peaceful, safe, and unified Society.”

I’m listening to her, but I’m watching Mikayla’s son. There’s not a flicker of reaction on his face as she speaks. She talks about taking the Oath, what will happen if we apply for Clearance or HighClear, and what will happen if we refuse the Oath.

“A commitment to the Common Oath grants you the Privileges of Citizenship in the Peaceful Society,” she says. Then she quotes the Universal Accord we all learned in school.

“Rights shall not be guaranteed, but earned as Privileges through Certification and a Commitment to the Common Oath.”

We’ve all been through Citizen training in school, training for years in nonviolent speech and action, de-escalation, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution. All that’s left for us to become full Citizens is to take the Oath.

The process starts and people are called up one by one. The assistant confers quietly with each new person who enters the little gate and approaches her desk. Then they move to stand before the Guardian, raising their right hand to take the Oath.

Some get directed to the desk on the right, and the Officers take the information of the girls I assume are going up for Clearance. Groups of young women and men file back out the doors we came in, required to make one more stop to get their new SafeGuard on the way out.

Then one boy has a longer conversation with the assistant. He shakes his head, and they talk more. Sweatslides down the side of his forehead. There’s a slight tremor in his hands.

The woman turns and nods to the guards behind her. One of them steps forward and walks with the boy to a door on the left, and they leave without taking the Oath.

Zeph tightens next to me and my eyes flick not to him but back to the guard, the boy I knew from before, standing in uniform. He’s turned toward us now where we’re sitting. His eyes return my gaze coolly, flicking between Zeph and me. I’m sure worry is written all over my face but he doesn’t respond, only glances away, his face blank.

After another span of Oath Takers, another boy refuses the Oath and leaves to the left with a guard.

They get to our school, working their way through the kids in my class until the assistant calls Zeph’s name. I squeeze his hand once, then he pulls it away, walking with slow carefulness to the front of the room. Zeph dips his head down, having the longer conversation that I’ve dreaded.

Like the others, the assistant calls for a guard over her shoulder. My ears ring as the guard I recognize steps forward. He makes eye contact with me, this time with warning in his eyes. He walks casually to Zeph’s side and they turn together, heading to the left.

A cry, a warning, forms in my throat but I swallow it down. I’m being called up right now, right after Zeph, to take my Oath.

I have to wrench my gaze away from the door swinging shut at the side of the courtroom as I push through the gate.

There’s an easy smile on the assistant’s face, and theSecurity Officers nod to me in recognition of Calista Bloome’s daughter. I quickly confirm I’m going to take the Oath and want to be considered for HighClear training.

With my right hand raised next to my shoulder, I read aloud the words of the Oath.

I am a citizen of the Peaceful Society

I reject violence in all forms

My freedom is a Privilege

My legacy is peace

My voice shakes on the last line as the words sink into me. Everything I fear flashes before my eyes: Zeph committing violence, getting put on probation, drugged and monitored. Or worse, Zeph and the guard committing an attack, people getting hurt or even killed.

The only person here who knows what just happened is me.

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