Page 1 of The Dicktionary Club

Chapter One

Ella

‘Where is Katy?’ Andrea snapped at the bullpen of our office floor. Her face was red with anger as she stormed through the desks, squinting, trying to locate my friend. She flew past me, then paused, slowly turning back to shoot me a death stare. ‘Ella?’ she asked.

I gulped. ‘Oh, she was here a second ago. But she is completely raring to go, Andrea,’ I lied, fist-punching the air with faux excitement.

Andrea’s face remained thunderous, only her jet-black bob quivering as she spoke. ‘She’s pitching to a prospective client in ten minutes. They’re waiting in the lobby as we speak. If she’s not here, and someone has to wing it with no prep, then she’s out!’ Andrea slowly ran one finger across her throat, then smirked. I knew it was a threat aimed for Katy but I couldn’t help but wonder if she meant it for me too.

I nodded back, trying my best to appear calm, but I could feel cold sweat travel from my forehead to my arse crack.What a psycho!

Andrea turned and headed back to her office. As soon as she slammed the door shut, I swivelled on my chair towards Zola. ‘Zo! Where the fuck is she?’

My friend already had her phone out and was dialling Katy’snumber, motioning me to come closer.

‘Hello.’ I heard the familiar sobbing drone of my friend down the line.Not to-fucking-day, Katy, I thought. I rested my head against Zola’s as we listened together.

‘Where the fuck are you? Your nine o’clock client is here and Andrea is screaming for you!’ I kept my voice low, in case one of our boss’s arse-licking spies on the floor overheard and reported back to her.

‘I’m .?.?. I know .?.?. I’m .?.?. I’m sorry!’ Katy wailed.

Zola rolled her eyes at me and attempted a more sympathetic approach. ‘Babe, don’t cry! Look, where are you? We’ll get you. Are you OK?’

‘HE DUMPED ME!’ she shrieked by way of reply, heaving loud sobs on the other end of the phone.

Zola and I automatically reared back from the intense screams coming at us from the phone.

‘Oh, no!Not another one, babe!’ Zola managed.

I darted a glare at Zola and her shitty attempt to be supportive. She shrugged back, looking confused.

‘What happened?’ I asked.

‘He said .?.?. he said .?.?. we needed time apart. He said I was a nice girl, but didn’t give him thatoomph!’ She broke into sobs again. ‘I thought he was the one. I thought he really liked me. He literally told me that last week!’

I shook my head, wondering if that was before or after he had gotten into her knickers. It always seemed to be the same routine with Katy and the dickhead guys she’d grown accustomed to. Yip, she was madly in love for a week or two, planning the wedding with us, changing all her likes and dislikes to suit the guy, swapping girls nights for date nights at any given chance. But then all of a sudden, and completely out of the blue for Katy, she was dumped and it was down to us to pick up the traumatised pieces.

‘Oh, no!Katy, it’s his loss! You know you can do much better than him anyway. It always feels awful breaking up! Come on, where are you?’

She sniffled. ‘I’m in the bathroom at reception. But I can’t come out. I mean it. I’m not coming out, Ella. I can’t face it.’

Zola hung up the phone, and we scurried across the office floor together. I noticed some of my colleagues stare up from their computers. Wondering if they had overheard the commotion, I found myself overcompensating with a massive grin.

‘Morning!’ I chirped.

We headed through to reception, and I glanced at the clock above the desk:08.55. As we approached the smartly dressed couple in the waiting area, I could feel my pulse race.Only five minutes to sort this shit storm out!Zola forced a grin onto her face and pointed to the company sign.

‘Good morning from all of us at Smart Reputations. Someone will be with you in just a tick.’

She winked at the pair, who nodded back in bemusement at her strange introduction. I was already heading into the bathroom, with Zola quickly behind me. The stalls were quiet. All I could hear was a drip from one of the taps echoing through the space.

‘Hello, Katy,’ I called out. ‘Are you in here?’

There was a slight sniffle from the middle cubicle. Zola motioned her head at the locked door. I sighed.

Here we go again, another Monday morning pep talk.

I popped into the stand next to Katy’s, while Zola headed to the one on the other side. I yanked down the toilet lid and stood on top of it, hanging my head over the cubicle wall, looking down at my friend. Zola did the same on the opposite side; her long braids hanging down as she hovered high in the air.

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