Page 16 of The Dicktionary Club

My cheeks blushed, knowing my friends were almost certainly watching and judging our initial interaction.

‘Shall we take a seat?’ He pointed to an empty table directly across from Katy and her date.

‘Sure,’ I replied confidently, briefly making eye contact with a flustered Katy, whose date was rummaging around awkwardly in his wallet, pointing to the large-screen coffee menu.

‘What’s your order? I’ll go grab it,’ Kevin said much more smoothly as I sat down at the table.

‘Oat milk latte, please,’ I said, smiling back as he turned towards the counter.

When both men were away, I giggled at Katy, who held her hands up, still in disbelief at Ali. My phone buzzed.

A new notification from the group chat.

Zola:Hahahahah, this is amazing!

I smirked at my phone, noticing Katy typing furiously across the aisle.

Katy:Oh yep, it’s amazing! Ella is practically on a date with Prince fucking Charming while I am sitting here with Shrek!

Zola:Even Shrek’s head ain’t that big, sweetie xx

I burst out laughing and then looked up cautiously, ensuring my date wasn’t watching me or getting suspicious that anything weird was happening.

Ella:She’s right, babe. Don’t diss Shrek!! Xx

Ella:Mine is handsome but has player written all over him. The way he checked out my body, EWWW! Xx

‘One oat milk latte for theinsanelygorgeous Bella,’ Kevin declared, eventually returning to his seat.

‘Thanks,’ I replied, watching Katy’s man clumsily make his way back to their table, banging into chairs along the way.

‘I’m glad I was in front of that guy at the counter, by the way.’ He tilted his shoulder towards Ali. ‘Did you see the size of that heid? No one is clocking the menu from behind that.’

I nodded, suddenly feeling weirdly defensive about Ali. It felt OK when my friends slagged him off, but it somehow irritated me when Kevin did.

‘Stop it, that’s a wee shame!’ I warned him, raising an eyebrow. ‘So, tell me, Kevin, when was the last time you had a date?’ I asked, getting straight to business.

I watched Kevin shuffle slightly in his chair. ‘Oh God, do you know I can’t quite remember, Bella, probably three or maybe four months ago now?’ I watched him blink a few times as he avoided eye contact, glancing at his coffee and then back to me.Yip .?.?. I watch too much CSI to know the classic body language of a liar, Kev!

‘Cool.’ I smiled, clocking his every move. ‘So, what brings you to the dating apps now? You’re obviously an attractive man. Why not go out there and meet someone the old-fashioned way?’

Kevin gave me a look. I admit, he seemed genuinely surprised. ‘I could ask you the same question. I mean, you are beautiful.’

With his attempt at flattery, I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head without warning.

‘You don’t think you’re good-looking?’ he asked, catching my eye roll. ‘Because, babe, trust me, you have a great body, smooth long legs. I mean, I can tell you work out with that arse.’

My jaw dropped open.

‘Ohyes, don’t act like you weren’t adding a little wiggle for Big Kev when you strutted over here.’ Kevin tapped his fingerson the table and smirked.

Indeed, I was not!And Big Kev, Big Kev? Who even refers to themselves in the third person like that after high school?

My fuckboy senses were tingling, alarm bells ringing in my brain. This was precisely the type of man we women should avoid. I just had to dig a bit more to prove it.

‘Oh damn, looks like you caught me.’ I laughed loudly, struggling to hide my disgust. ‘So, you liked what you saw?’ I leaned in as sexily as possible, allowing him to inhale my favourite Chanel scent.

‘Jesus Christ.’ His eyes popped open like a cartoon character’s at the prospect of chatting about my arse after the first five minutes. ‘I did, darling, and I’d like to see a lot more of it.’ He matched my body language, leaning over the table.

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