Page 17 of The Dicktionary Club

‘Play your cards right, and you might .?.?. at some point. I’m a lady.’ I smirked and sat back in my chair.

God, this was too easy, I thought.

‘So, you’re up for meeting up again? Maybe a bottle of wine at mine?’ he asked ever so casually.

‘At yours?’ I repeated, trying not to choke on my latte.

‘I mean, we could get to know each other better, with no distractions, just me, you and that sexy strut of yours. I like a lady – outside of the house. And I like a naughty little girl inside.’ His voice was deeper now; he was trying sooo hard to be sexy, seductive.

I felt my face twist. What a creepy cunt. But I took a breath and hid it well. ‘Mmmm.?.?. I’ll think about it,’ I replied, taking a large gulp of my drink.

‘OK, fair enough,’ Kevin said, sliding back into his chair, his smooth, bulging arms resting effortlessly on the table. ‘It’s better than a no, I suppose.’

‘Tell me more about you, Kevin. I don’t like jumping straight into things here, be gentle with me. Let’s chat about our lives.’I took another sip of my drink, grateful for it hiding me a little, as my face reddened with the chat. I was keen to gather as much background information for a fully detailed report.

His eyebrows lifted. ‘Be gentle with you? Cheeky girl.’ He smirked as if I’d intended the phrase sexily. ‘I can be gentle with you all right!’

I stared back, unimpressed.

Kevin huffed. ‘Right. Well, what you wanna know? My star sign? Like every other girl.’ He laughed and took a swig of his coffee.

What a prick, I thought,but he’s definitely a Scorpio!

‘No, about your work, your goals, your last serious relationship, anything and everything,’ I replied.

‘Oh, well, I work at the bank; I think I told you that,’ he began.

Yes, you did, Kevin, but you’re obviously chatting with so many other women you can’t remember who you’ve told what.

‘And my goal is to work hard, play harder.’ He winked cheekily, which made my oat milk curdle in my stomach. ‘And you do not want to hear about my ex.’ He shook his head wildly. ‘When I say psycho, I mean off the charts.Baby ReindeerMartha style!’

The alarm bells in my head rang louder as I nodded innocently, pretending to be shocked. I couldn’t imagine any girl wanting to stalk this fanny.

‘Why, what made her so bad?’ I asked.

‘She installed a tracker device in my fucking car! And would log into my Ring doorbell to see who was coming around my place.’

Genius move, I thought.

‘And who was coming around your house?’ I asked curiously, still sipping my drink, intrigued by his slip-up.

‘You know, my mates and that.’ He seemed flustered. ‘She’s a fucking loony!’

I hummed and nodded quietly.

‘She still texts me now, you know. All this stuff about how she can’t eat because she’s so depressed. I just reply and say a few pounds off won’t do you any harm, love. Know what I mean?’ He laughed, thinking I’d join in, but I could feel my blood boil. ‘She’s not got a body like yours, if you get me.’

I was stunned, appalled and furious. I didn’t know whether to call him out, make a scene, or just bide my time, not wanting to blow my cover. I needed to get all the revenge I could for this poor girl via the Dicktionary Club.

I zoned out as Kevin continued waffling on about his ex and focused in on Katy’s conversation. She seemed to be nodding away at everything her man was saying, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Ali was as much of a narcissistic cunt as so-called Big Kev. Fuck it, I’d much rather be dealing with someone with a head like an elephant’s arse than this prick.

*

‘So, what do you again?’ Katy asked Ali, while pulling a face towards me, summoning me for help.

‘Well, I’mheadof recruitment, so you know how that is. Busy, busy workload. And yourself?’

I noticed Katy’s eyes expand widely at the word ‘head’ and I covered my mouth to hide my amusement while Kevin continued to talk at me.

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