Page 3 of The Dicktionary Club

‘Come here, girl.’ Katy turned, as Zola wrapped her arms around her. ‘I have some lippy. You want some?’

Katy shrugged. ‘I don’t care,’ she whined pathetically, but pursing out her lips anyway.

I leaned my hand against my head frustratedly and, once a fresh layer of Velvet Teddy was on, I turned her body towards me. ‘OK, enough. Do you think you’ll get this deal with that attitude, Katy? Like, seriously? You’ve gone on and on about this client for three fucking months! Countless emails back and forth, and now today is the day you give them the best pitch of your career, OK?’

She bobbed her head, looking a tad more inspired by my speech.

‘We will sort the Mark or fucking Martin situation out when you come out of that meeting, but I promise you, he will come back. They always fucking do! Eh?’

‘Mmmhmm,’ Zola agreed. ‘Men are like boomerangs with balls.’

Katy gulped, finally agreeing. ‘OK,’ she breathed, and I watched her shoulders drop. ‘I got this! Yeah. I can do this.’

‘Yes, you fucking can!’ I hyped back. ‘Come on, get out there.’

I pulled open the toilet door, allowing Katy to walk out in front. She turned to the clients sitting at reception and smiled.

‘Oh, you must be Patricia and Alan. It’s so lovely to meet you both in person,’ she said in her best professional manner, welcoming them.

They stood up and each shook her hand.

‘Thank fuck I’m engaged,’ I heard Zola mumble. Then I felt a nudge from her, noticing the palm of her hand down low, waiting for a discreet high-five. I quickly slapped my hand off hers. We watched Katy lead the Blaze Boost clients into the boardroom and both breathed a massive sigh of relief.

‘Pssst.’ I turned back and noticed Katy’s head pop out of thedoor. ‘Do you really think he’ll call, Ella? Like today?’

‘Erm.?.?. duh .?.?. yes, of course he fucking will!’ I flapped my hands, motioning her to go back in.

Katy beamed brightly and retreated to the boardroom, closing the door.

I watched her through the glass window as she strolled over to the laptop, finally looking confident and inspired to pitch.

I turned to Zola, who was totally puffed from the stressful morning routine we had unfortunately gotten so used to.

‘Do you really think he’ll call?’ she asked, also gazing through the window towards Katy.

‘Honestly?’ I paused, biting my bottom lip, thinking of all the men Katy had recently been pumped then dumped by. ‘Not a fucking chance.’

*

Zola and I retreated to our desks and began working on our own projects. I had been running PR for an artist’s pop-up gallery that was passing through Glasgow in a few weeks. The artist was huge throughout Europe, famous for painting brightly coloured, luxury oil portraits of celebrities and the wealthy, but quite honestly I had been finding it difficult to glamorise the exhibition to the Scottish crowds. Normally I was an expert on the beauty market and high street. I’d been working this pitch for over a month now with no real breakthroughs or any idea where I’d even hold the exhibition. I swivelled around on my chair to face Zola.

‘Help!’ I pleaded.

Zola laughed. ‘Still no luck with the gallery?’

I shook my head.

‘I can help with the social content and invites, but you need to come up with the plan, babe! And let’s face it, the clock isticking!’

Zola was Smart Reputations’ creative IT director. She transferred up from the London office to help boost our social media presence and support clients when revamping their websites. She’s basically a whizz-kid for content creation and graphic design, and was an instant hit with Katy and me from the moment she showed up on her first day with her long colourful braids, a belly top and ripped jeans. Andrea almost spat out her morning coffee at the team meeting when she spotted her office attire, but I loved how quirky, cool and loveable she was. So much so that we welcomed her into our little friendship bubble with open arms shortly after.

‘What you working on, Zo?’ I asked my friend.

‘Ummm.?.?.’ She swivelled in her chair. ‘Revamping the website for Luxe Lengths hair extensions. It’s a fun one to do. Have you got any further forward on the art exhibition?’

‘Oh no. I’ve sent out emails to old clients who might be interested in coming and I’ve received two replies. Two! Remind me why I asked for this campaign?’ I mumbled.

‘I don’t know. Because you like a challenge? Look, don’t stress yourself. You always pull through, Ella.’ Zola smiled brightly, giving me a little nudge.

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