Page 40 of The Dicktionary Club

My heart instantly dropped to the floor, and I ushered my friends to gather around me, putting my phone on speaker.

‘Mr Khan?’ I replied, trying my best to sound confident.

‘How did you know it was me? Recognise my voice already?’

Because you’re the only one who calls me Pilates, ya dafty, I thought.

‘Exactly that,’ I murmured, choosing to humour him instead.

‘So, Patricia passed on your message, and my PR team sent over your LinkedIn email request. I thought I better give you a ring before you track down my mother’s Vinted account and message her too.’ He laughed. I felt my insides curl with mortification.

‘Yeah, I’m sorry about that,’ I admitted, but at the same time wondering what goodies a millionaire’s mother would sell on Vinted. I would seriously have to check that out. ‘What it was, well .?.?. actually .?.?.’ I could feel myself hesitating, and I had no idea why. I was usually so decisive when it came to work.

Zola nudged me and whispered, ‘Go on.’

‘Well, I need a favour, Mr Khan. You see, I work for Smart Reputations, a PR and marketing firm, and I’d love to speak toyou about hiring one of your venues for an upcoming show for the world-renowned artist Alexander .?.?.’

He laughed under his breath. ‘Is that it? I have a team that deals with that sort of thing. I can email you their contact information, Pilates.’

‘Yes, thank you. But the problem is, I promised my boss I could get you in the office personally. She so wants to meet you,’ I said, wantingpersonallynothing more than to curl up under my desk.

‘She wants to meet me?’ he replied in a sarcastic tone, as if I was creating an elaborate plan to lure him into my office and promptly shag him against the filing cabinet.

I nodded, then received an elbow in the rib from Zola. ‘Be persistent!’ she whispered. ‘Keep going.’

‘She does. And the thing is, if you don’t – and I don’t mean to put this pressure onto you – but if you don’t, I will probably get fired.’ I glanced up at my friends. Katy had her fingers crossed in some sort of ritual and Zola was on the edge of her seat.

‘And it does need to be by tomorrow. Sorry,’ I muffled quickly.

There was a long pause.

‘Well .?.?.’ he said eventually, ‘we wouldn’t want you to be unemployed, would we, Pilates? I could be there at six tonight. Is that satisfactory?’

I jumped out of my chair in celebration. ‘Yes! Six is perfect! Thank you, I appreciate it. Will I send you the address?’ As I said it, I felt my body cringe yet again, realising I didn’t have his phone number. The cunt probably withheld it because of how much I’d already stalked him this week. ‘I could send it to your LinkedIn, or something?’

He laughed at my overenthusiastic naivety. ‘It’s fine, my driver will know where he’s going!’

‘Thank you so much, Mr Khan. I’ll see you soon,’ I said,raising my hand to receive high-fives from my friends.

Without another word, the line went dead.

‘We did it!’ I screeched.

Zola hugged me. ‘You did it! Yes, girl!’

‘I’m so buzzing! You need to nail this pitch to him now,’ Katy said, and I felt the panic set in – for real this time.

‘I think he thinks I fancy him!’ I said.

Zola nodded. ‘Most powerful men think every woman from sixteen to sixty fancies them, sweetie!’

I screwed my face up, knowing he was the type of man I couldn’t stand – overly confident, a womaniser, brandishing a huge ego.

‘No! Wait, remember you have Alvaro tonight too.’ Zola seemed disproportionately cut up about the Spanish hunk I’d have to stand up.

I held my hands up. ‘Alvaro will need to wait, Zo. I’ve got to nail this pitch.’

She agreed, huffing slightly. ‘He’s so nice, though. Aghhhh. You could fit both of them in, couldn’t you?’

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