Page 42 of The Dicktionary Club

‘Right.’ I paused. ‘So .?.?.’ The prick had taken me completely off guard. I’d memorised my whole pitch, and now I could feel my head scrambling, trying to get back on track. My fingers hovered over the mouse on my laptop. ‘Erm .?.?. just to clarify. You don’t want the PowerPoint then?’ I asked.

Philip shook his head, now resting his elbows on the table as he continued to stare at me with his deep, dark eyes. ‘God, I’vehad a long day, please no fucking PowerPoint.’

I cleared my throat. His eye contact was so intense that I struggled to look back without feeling nervous. ‘OK, I’ll get to the point then. I have a client, an artist. He creates the most wonderful portraits of celebrities and royalty and he is gracing Glasgow for one evening only in a few weeks’ time. I have been tasked with planning an art exhibition to showcase his talent across the city, and I was hoping you would allow the use of one of your venues for it.’

Philip tilted his head. ‘What about the Gallery of Modern Art? Too Banksy?’

I tittered a little:too fucking expensive, more like.‘Well, we have to notify the council beforehand for that venue, I’m afraid; it involves permits.’ I turned to him, feeling a rush of excitement at my vison for Alexander. ‘I’m thinking this show will be more like a party, not like a regular exhibition, but fun and lively as well as elegant. Consider it a function even.’

‘A function?’ Philip repeated, not appearing to get behind my vision.

‘Exhibitions feel very passive, to me,’ I said, lifting the energy of my voice. ‘They’re all about observation, walking around and looking, am I right?’

Philip agreed, raising his shoulders slightly.

‘But I want to really engage and draw people into conversations about the art. I don’t want to only cater to the art community either, but I want to break his work through to the everyday person. Alexander is honestly the most amazing artist.’ I sighed. ‘I have paintings of his on the PowerPoint.’ I felt my hand drifting back towards the laptop, but Philip’s eyes gave me a warning stare.

‘Well, I can email you them across. Look, the point is, I want to create a completely unique experience here, not a regular exhibition. I want people to talk about him, to make TikToks andreels on how amazing the night will be. I am going to further publicise not only his name, but his brand, and of course the venue by extension.’

‘And Smart Reputations, of course,’ Philip added with a smirk.

I smiled. ‘Well, of course.’ There was a slight, brief silence in the room.

‘Hotels host these kinds of things all the time, right?’

Philip sat up in thought, crossing one leg over the other.

‘Yes. We host parties, but I’m thinking from a marketing perspective.’ He paused briefly. ‘If I were an artist holding some wanky art show in a new city, I’d want it to be lavish and in a grand, distinctive building. My hotels are grand, by the way, but they aren’t quite Glaswegian landmarks.’

I felt all hope wash out of me.He doesn’t want to do it. I am going to be fired.

‘Wouldn’t you?’ he asked.

‘Well .?.?. if I wanted a normal boring exhibition, yes. But I want to create something more here, Philip.’

He leaned back in his seat as if he disagreed. There was nothing more to say, I’d lost him. He didn’t get it.

‘Can I be frank with you, Philip? Apologies.’ I cleared my throat. ‘Mr Khan.’

‘Apology accepted.’ He smirked cheekily.

‘The main obstacle I’m facing is getting people up here excited about this exhibition. Alexander Cambi is HUGE in Italy and central Europe, and he’s making waves in London, but the people of Glasgow don’t know him or his work. If I could secure a smaller, more intimate venue, like one of your hotels, then .?.?. it would be more appealing to the everyday person. It would be a less intimidating way to visit an art show, wouldn’t it? It could bridge the gap between the art world and “real life” and create a bougie boutique experience. And of course, I’m hopingthat would also help keep costs within Alexander’s tight budget. This partnership would generate great press for your hotel, it’s honestly a win-win scenario.’

He hummed, sounding unsure of my proposal.

Jesus, what was there to question?I wondered.

‘Well .?.?. Honestly, I think you can do better.’

I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

‘Oh.’ I pulled back my shoulders. I’d really believed I had pitched well.

Philip leaned closer to me, his deep voice sounding somewhat softer. ‘I think you’re doing yourself a disservice by not believing you can spin this and make it huge. Forget a hotel venue; what you need to do is get the people of Glasgow excited about some fancy schmancy artist coming to town.’

I nodded politely, hoping to end this meeting and go home to cry under the covers.He thinks I can’t do my job, and the worst part is, I know he’s right.

Then the door burst open into the room, and Andrea strolled in. I was slightly taken aback by the sheer thickness of makeup she had plastered on her face – presumably a special glow-up in honour of Philip’s arrival.

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