Page 6 of The Dicktionary Club

*

It was just after six when we entered Wunderbar; our favourite place in the city, it had live musicians singing the best pop classics every night and a great lively atmosphere any time of the day. A group of rowdy students was screaming along to the ultimate Swiftie compilation, so we sat together in the undercover outside seating area to chat properly as it felt a bit less chaotic. Zola headed to the bar for the first round of drinks, while I squeezed up beside Katy.

‘You OK?’ I asked, noticing Katy check her phone.

She forced a smile. ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine. Another one bites the dust, eh?’ she replied softly, her eyes glazed over in defeat.

‘It’s so shit, Katy. How men think they can treat us so badly and get away with it. You realise what Mark did to you was so cruel, right? He’s fucking out of order.’

‘Yeah, maybe.’ She hesitated. ‘But what if he was just being honest, Ella?’

‘Then be honest, but just after a few dates or whatever. If he felt like the connection wasn’t strong enough for him, then he should have broken it off long before now. Not go round to your house, have a fucking bath run for him, a dinner bought, tell you he’s focusing on you, then dump you while you’re having actual sex because you’ve caught him messaging other women!’ I could feel myself getting riled up on my friend’s behalf. ‘Was he going to keep you as an option on the back burner if you hadn’t seen that notification?’

‘I know.’ She was in a daze, staring into space. ‘It wasn’t nice at all, Ella. Honestly, I curled up crying the whole night.’

I shook my head. ‘I wish you would have called me.’

Katy shrugged. ‘And say what – guess what’s happenedagain! It’s pathetic!’

‘He’s the pathetic one, Katy. Not you!’ I insisted.

‘Do you know the really sad thing? I even texted him once he left and apologised for causing the argument. Who does that?!’

‘But you didn’t do anything wrong, Katy.’

‘But our night would have been perfect if I hadn’t seen that notification or just kept my big mouth shut.’

That’ssonot true. ‘And he’d have strung you along for months,’ I protested, ‘waiting till your feelings were even stronger and then dropped you. You did the right thing.’

I watched her head drop, still comprehending it all.

Zola returned to the table holding a large tray with aninfectious grin on her face. ‘Three vodka Red Bulls, and .?.?.’ Her eyes darted from side to side. ‘Jägerbombs!’

I started laughing loudly at the thought of shots on a school night while Katy plunged for the tray, more than ready for the alcohol buzz to dull her emotions.

Zola and I lifted our Jägers into the air.

‘To Katy,’ I said, ‘the baddest bitch in marketing.’

‘Hell, yes!’ Zola replied, smashing her shot into mine.

Katy shook her head, giggling, and together we downed our first shot of the night.

*

Inside the bar, the musicians began playing some old-school classics, as we sipped away at our drinks. It felt nice to be out again; I could feel the mild, fresh Scottish air breeze around us and started to feel excited about the warm summer nights approaching.

‘So, how are we planning on getting revenge on this Mark punk?’ Zola asked.

I laughed and nudged Katy, urging her to plot against him in a bid to lift her spirits. ‘We could key his car? Or start an ugly syphilis rumour?’ I joked.

‘What’s the point?’ she sulked. ‘Let’s face it, he’ll already have moved on to his next victim.’

‘God help her!’ I said, raising my glass in an ironic toast.

‘I just wish there was a way we could warn other women about him. I wish there was like a review segment on Tinder or something.’

Zola chuckled loudly. ‘Could you imagine, though? Decent job, shit dick. Two stars!’

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