Page 60 of The Dicktionary Club

I nodded, knowing it would be great, but all the enthusiasm I’d felt for it had just been shat on from Andrea’s fucking arsehole.

‘Where’s Katy?’ I asked, realising she was still MIA.

Zola shrugged. ‘She was getting ready for her night of passion, remember? Hopefully, she’s not slipped a disc, yeah?’

I managed to laugh, even though I was still livid. ‘She can’t miss the meetings, though. Andrea’s already gunning for us.’

Zola scoffed. ‘She guns for everyone. I’ll call Katy now. But seriously, great work, babe!’

I leaned into her warm shoulder, grateful for the compliments she gave so easily and genuinely, and we returned to our stations.

Just as Zola took out her phone to contact our missing friend, the office door swung open and Katy marched up to us. She was without makeup, puffy-eyed, and looked like she had been in afight with a pit bull.

‘Wow, late-night gal!’ Zola exclaimed as she approached us.

Katy’s face turned red and her eyes began watering.

‘Oh no. What has he done?’ I huffed, just knowing Harry must have been another lying, deceitful dick playing her.

‘What has he done? What has henotdone, more like.’ Katy began blubbing, and I noticed a few stares from around the room.

‘Hey, babe, let’s go into the conference room, people are watching,’ Zola replied, ushering her out of harm’s way, gripping her shoulders tightly while I followed behind.

As soon as I closed the door, Katy burst into tears.

‘He lied to me!’ she cried.

I was already shaking my head, waiting for an adultery scandal to drop.

‘Why? What happened? Katy, calm down. We got you.’ Zola tried to soothe the situation, but Katy continued to blub like a baby.

‘He told me he loved me!’ she moaned.

‘I know, I know. But what did he do?’ I asked again.

Katy took in a deep breath and began. ‘It was supposed to be the first night we, you know .?.?.’

‘Fucked?’ Zola challenged.

‘Made LOVE!’ Katy snapped back at her, with bloodshot eyes. ‘And I was so excited. I had shaved, loofah-d, fake tanned and stretched! I was ready for the time of my life. The night of passion he’d promised me!’

Both Zola and I nodded in anticipation.

‘So, he came round, everything started heating up, I got down on my knees ready to .?.?. you know .?.?.’

‘Suck him off?’ Zola interrupted, blunt as always.

‘And I pulled down his boxers .?.?.’

‘And?’ I was beginning to feel deeply uneasy.

‘And the lying bastard has a fucking micro penis!’ She screwed up her face in disgust, slightly hitting the boke at the memory.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh at how dramatically my friend had explained the situation.

‘Babe, no!’ Zola burst out laughing. ‘But wait, how small is micro?’ She held up her pinkie, trying to gauge the size.

‘How small?How small?It’s non-existent. He’s all balls down there. There’s more meat on a butcher’s apron – put it that way. His dick is a fucking innie!’ Katy cried.

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