Page 9 of The Dicktionary Club

I stood up and turned to my friends, who were dragging themselves to their feet. We joined our colleagues in a familiar circle-time meeting.

‘Let’s make this one short and snappy. I want everyone to tell me what they’re working on this week and where you expect to be by the end of the week.’ Andrea’s sharp eyes narrowed as they scanned the group, and I watched them pause on me.

I stood up poker straight, readjusting myself.

‘Let’s start with you, Ella Banks,’ she said, one brow raised to the sky.

‘OK, yes, sure. Morning, everyone .?.?.’

‘Short and sharp.’ Andrea clapped her hands.

In my peripheral vision, I could see Zola shake her head disapprovingly at Andrea’s lack of manners. The London office was a lot more zen than Glasgow. That lot would take their shoes off at meetings and stretch back on bean bags to brainstorm. They could work from home if they pleased and were always encouraged to bounce ideas off their boss without fear of being struck down by a lightning bolt of criticism. Fuck, they could even bring their pets to work on a Friday. The Glasgow approach was much more formal, businesslike – and utterly shambolic for Zola, but she’d moved here for a promotion. And although she detested Andrea and her culture-of-fear methods, there was no denying it – we always achieved the best results.

‘So, this week, I’m continuing to prioritise Alexander Cambi’s art exhibition. I’m sussing out venues and emailing art world clients RSVPs to get an idea of how big the venue will need to be to host it.’

‘Weren’t you,’ Andrea cleared her throat, then mimicked my voice at an obscenely higher pitch than her own, ‘prioritising that last week?’

I gulped. I had been prioritising this project for a fucking month with no idea how I’d pull it off.

‘Yes,’ I admitted. ‘It has been quite tricky. The art world in Glasgow isn’t as .?.?. keen for his style of traditional portraits as elsewhere, it seems.’

‘You have one more week to prioritise it. Book a venue, establish a guest list, sell the paintings. Cambri wants to launch this collection in three weeks, Ella.’

I nodded, feeling clammy and out-of-sorts, unsure whether it was from last night’s binge or the uncomfortable sudden pressure.

But Andrea was already done with me, shifting her gaze sharply to my right. ‘Zola?’

‘I’m creating the website and revamping the social media for Luxe Lengths hair extensions. The owner, Lisa, is renowned in her field and has a lot of celebrity clients, so I’ve created a website showcasing her talent. It should be done by the end of the day.’

Andrea’s head tilted, which was as close to appreciation as any of us were going to get today. She shifted her gaze along once more.

‘And Katy, Katy, Katy .?.?. Will I tell you what you will be doing?’ Andrea asked, folding her arms with a smirk.

Katy’s eyes darted between Zola and me and then back to Andrea, not knowing how this would turn out.

‘The Tunnock’s campaign?’

‘No. Tina, that’s now your pitch.’

Tina straightened in an instant, immediately scribbling into her notebook.

My stomach twisted. Was Katy about to get fired?Or awarning?I could hear my heart pound in my eardrums. Andrea had fired two senior PR girls last month alone for having low engagements on a post for one of their client’s social media accounts. She sent them to HR stating they were unable to carry out their job description and we never saw them again.Why do I even try to do this job under this wannabe fucking mini-Putin?!

‘You will be working on your new client, Blaze Boost. Congratulations!’

A wave of relief washed through my body.Thank fuck!

I turned to Katy, whose mouth was gaping wide. ‘Wait. I .?.?. I .?.?. got it?’

Andrea attempted to smile, but her face always looked like it was in pain when she showed her teeth. ‘You did. And this week you’ll be hitting the gyms, selling their products. See which ones work, then we can pitch an idea to them at the end of the month.’

Katy nodded, gulping down hard. ‘OK, thanks, Andrea, thanks so—’

‘Short and sharp now, Katy.’ She pointed towards her, giving her a brief warning.

Thankfully, Andrea then moved on to the rest of the group. After she advised and dictated her views on their workloads, we returned to our desks to get started.

I put one arm around Katy and smiled. ‘I knew you had this. Well done!’

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