Page 99 of The Dicktionary Club

Chapter Thirty-Three

Ella

That Monday morning, I headed to work fresh-faced, determined and excited to see my friends so I could divulge the rest of the weekend’s gossip first-hand. Philip had spent the entire day at mine on Sunday, and we’d got a Chinese takeaway together that evening, before having more amazing sex and a sleepover.

I walked into the office and couldn’t help smirking as I saw Zola. Katy gasped, clapping her hands as she spotted me.

‘Good weekend, gurllll?’ Zola asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

‘Hmmm.?.?.pretty quiet!’ I joked, and we all burst out laughing.

‘So, how is it going? What’s happening now?’ Katy asked. Throughout the weekend, I had given the girls voice-note updates on Philip and me spending time together.

‘It’s good.’ I smiled, thinking of him. ‘It feels good. We spent the day and night together at mine, and .?.?.’

‘I still can’t believe you let him up to your apartment!’ Zola gasped. ‘And you’re still alive?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Yeah, and he seems pretty tidy too. He didn’t Zoflora the worktops before bed, but he does fill the dishwasher neatly.’

‘Babe, no one Zofloras clean worktops before bed,’ Zola said. ‘That’s ayouproblem!’

Katy shimmied in her seat a little uncomfortably and edged forward. ‘And the sex? You had more sex, right?’

I flopped back on my chair. ‘We did, and it’spppppfft!’ I let out a raspberry, replaying visions of Philip naked and pounding on top of me in my head.

‘I knew he would be good in bed. You can tell. He’s such a masculine man. Like a big bear or something,’ Katy said, before screwing her face up and popping her hand back down at her groin.

‘Oh, are you OK there, hun? Did we keep you and your camel toe from something?’ Zola said, scrutinising Katy up and down.

Katy huffed. ‘Stop! It’s not a camel toe.’ She shuffled more in the chair and then lowered her voice. ‘It’s my fanny.’ She pointed down. ‘I’m in pure agony!’

Zola and I shared a worried glance.

‘Agony?’ I questioned. ‘As in too-much-sex agony or something-nasty-going-on-down-there agony?’

‘Or too-much-masturbating-to-Ross-Kemp agony?’ Zola chipped in.

‘What?’ I asked. ‘Rosswhat?’

‘Zola, stop!’ Katy warned her. ‘I swear to God, it’s getting worse. It feels like it’s on fire and it’s so itchy when I wear pants!’

‘You need to get that checked, Katy. Have you had a look down there?’ I asked. I was trying to stare at her face, but my eyes kept darting in between her thighs.

‘No. Can you?’ she asked.

‘Me? God, no,’ I whispered back.

‘And don’t look at me!’ Zola tutted. ‘I’ve seen enough of you, girl, to last a lifetime.’

‘Katy, why don’t you go into the bathroom and take a photo? Then you’ll be able to see what’s up. It could be a littleinflammation.’

Katy looked nervous. Nevertheless, she nodded, lifted her phone and jigged cross-legged to the toilet.

‘If that girl has crabs and I’m sleeping in her bed, she’s done for!’ Zola exclaimed, and I burst out laughing.

My phone began ringing from my desk, and so I switched into professional mode as I picked it up to hear a familiar Italian accent. ‘Ella, how are things going with the Glasgow tour?’

I recognised Alexander’s distinctive voice immediately.

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