Page 43 of Faking Ties

“To talk to them.” She nods over to Quincy and Jake arguing about which ball to use. “To make a plan.”

“I think I’m good right here.”

“Do I need to change your name to scaredy-cat? Because I’ll do it.”

I sigh. “You don’t let up, do you?”

“Nope.” She grins.

“I don’t know what to tell them.”

“How about the truth? That you’re worried about the team and that you’re on the chopping block.”

It’s good advice, but I’m not used to opening up to them about my problems. We may be friends, but I’ve always kept them at a distance. It’s safer that way, to not get too close to anyone. Stella’s right, though. I’m going to need them if we want to win.

“Fine.” I stand and walk over to my friends. “Hey, can we talk for a second?”

“Sure,” Quincy says.

“What’s up?” Jake asks.

“Coach warned me that soon people will be pointing fingers about the cause of our poor team dynamics.”

Quincy stares at me for a beat before his eyes widen in understanding. “And they might blame you?”

“Shit,” Jake says. “You’d be an easy out since most of the players don’t like you.”

“But you’re one of our best players,” Quincy says.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say. “Not when Evren has it out for me.”

“I overheard some of the assistant coaches talking,” Jake says. “Apparently, Evren uses the data from our shoulder pad tags to evaluate our performances in training and at games. He’s already benched Aaron until further notice.”

Shit. Benching Aaron makes sense, but it also means Evren’s serious. Aaron’s been on the team for years as a defensive lineman, but his stamina just isn’t good enough.

“So, no pressure or anything,” Quincy jokes.

“I think we need some team-building events,” Jake says. “I don’t want anyone from offense to get cut.”

“I’m in,” Quincy says before they both turn to me, waiting for my answer.

The unspoken question feels like a test. I’d normally be the first to make fun of such a proposal, and based on the looks on Quincy’s and Jake’s faces, they fully expect me to do that now. All our asses are on the line under Evren, even Jake’s and Quincy’s. Maybe I don't show it, but I care. Deeply. About everything. From my friends’ futures to Stella’s impression of me to what kind of player I am. It’s just easier, safer, to act like I don’t. That way if anyone doesn’t like me, it doesn’t hurt as bad since they don’t really know me.

I glance at Stella, who’s not so subtly eavesdropping on our conversation from her seat. She keeps pushing me out of my comfort zone, forcing me to face myfears head-on. When she does it, it somehow feels right.

“I’m in,” I finally say.

Jake and Quincy blink at me in surprise for a heartbeat before clapping me on the back. Stella smiles and skips over, joining in on the celebration.

“Proud of you,” she whispers, going to her toes and kissing my cheek.

I wrap my arm around her waist, holding her to me, making this moment last longer. The moment someone told me they’re proud of me off the field. Playing football is the only time I do something worthy of praise. People praise me for my performance or for making them money. But in the end, it wasn’t really about me but about them. About what I did or could doforthem.

I breathe her in. She somehow has the ability to make everything better by just being herself. It’s a struggle to remind myself that this is fake, that she’s just acting like a good girlfriend. Even knowing this, I can’t help but say, “Your words mean everything to me.”

She pulls back in confusion and searches my face. I wish I could take back the words, the truth, but it’s too late. It takes a moment for realization to follow.

“You deserve to hear that every day,” she whispers.

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