Page 60 of Crossing Lines

I spin around, throwing my gloves onto the ground, and speed-walk away from him. My pride doesn’t allow me to run away like I want to. But before I can make it two steps, his strong arm circles my waist and pull me against his chest. I should try to fight him off,but it’s like all my strength, myinnerstrength, disappeared the moment he moved into this house.

His hold is gentle,comforting, as he turns me to face him.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he says, gaze roaming over my face. “I was so absorbed in getting the task done that I didn’t stop to think about how you would feel about it all. I know that saying sorry isn’t enough, and that I’ve hurt you. But I can guarantee that from now on, you’ll be included on any decisions involving you.”

This might be the first genuine apology I’ve ever received. Mom never owned up to anything, and Elodie’s never done anything that’s required real forgiveness. But Evren? He took responsibility after that time in the car, and he’s doing it again now. It’s not just an apology, it’s like he truly understands how he’s hurt me. And his promise? It’s exactly what I need. Not empty words, but real change.

“Thank you,” I say, taking a deep breath to prepare myself for the words I’m about to say, words I’ve never said to another person. “I forgive you.”

“You do?”

“Yes, but nothing like that can ever happen again.”

“You have my word,” he says, the tension bleedingfrom his shoulders in the next instant, as if my forgiveness were the lifeline he so desperately needed.

I can’t tell who started the kiss first—him or me. But all I know is that the second his lips touch mine, all logic flees. The kiss is demanding, possessive. It’s everything I’ve spent a lifetime avoiding.I didn’t think I’d ever have room in my life for a man or vulnerability. I should hate this kind of kiss.I should push him away, to protect him from Mom.I should do a lot of things, but instead of doing any of them, I let go and sink into the feel of his tongue invading my mouth. There’s a sweet brutality to it that ignites something deep within me.

Burning out of control,I’ve never wanted anyone like I want Evren. It’s deeper than attraction, but it’s like no matter how many times I push him away, or how mean I am to him, he’s still there, weathering the storm that is me.

My life has been a tempest since I was born, but when I’m with Evren, I sense something different—a hint of calm amidst the chaos. I’m just not sure yet if it’s a soothing breeze or the eye of a hurricane, or maybe a little of both. And I’m more than tempted to find out.

He curls his hands into my hips, pulling me close to his body. He kisses me like this might be our last time together, as if he’s pouring everything he’s ever felt for me into this one moment, making it count. I can almost feel every unspoken word, every hidden desire, and every shattered dream of his in the kiss.

Hiking my leg around his hip, his hardness pressesinto me. Moaning, he slides his hand up my overalls and into the gap at my hip, where he slowly, torturously, dances his fingers across the top of my underwear. I need him to touch me, to bring some relief from this constantacheI’ve felt since I first met him.

But I’m not sure either of us is ready to cross that line between us. The one that has a clear before and after. Where we go from just roommates to something different, something more. I’m not even sure what the after would look like between us. Mixing feelings with physical intimacy is uncharted territory for me, and honestly, I’m not sure I’m ready for it. He should also know more about Mom, what he’s risking if he wants to start something with me.

So, I do the hardest thing I’ve done recently and force myself to pull away. “We need to stop before we make a mistake.”

He stills, his face going blank, before removing his hand from my overalls. “Yes, of course.”

He says it so evenly, I can’t tell how he’s really feeling. I give him a hard stare, as if that’ll make him crack, and he gives me the same kind of stare back, as if daring formeto crack first. As if he can see through my bullshit excuse and straight into the need that’s hounding me.

I guess that’s the thing about Evren. He may be a steady force in the face of my storm, but that also means he won’t run away when shit gets tough. For the first time, I don’t have something sassy or snarky or even acomeback to say.

“If,” he says, “what we were about to do is a mistake, then I’ll gladly keep messing up.”

My jaw drops. Evren must’ve stolen all my words when he kissed me because the best response I’ve got to that is, “I’ve got to go.”

“No. You don’t get to run when things get hard.”

“I’m not,” I lie, the words scraping against my throat. It stings that he’s calling me out, that he’s the one so calm and experienced while I feel like the younger one—unsteady, unsure, like a child fumbling through emotions I should’ve mastered by now.

“You are. What makes you think this is a mistake?”

“I…” I glance around, looking for an out to magically appear out of thin air. But of course, nothing happens.

“Tell me.” He steps into my personal space, scrambling my thoughts yet again, as he tilts my chin up. His mahogany eyes are intense and serious as he says, “Please,pariltim,help me understand.”

“I’m…terrified.” I close my eyes and wince, regretting even admitting that aloud. But fear isn’t an excuse. He deserves more from me than to run away. If I want to stand beside him as an equal, I need to be brave, to face this with the maturity he sees in me—even if I’m still learning how.

“About?”

“I’ve never had sex with feelings involved and…” I shrug as if that explains it all.

“You have feelings for me?”

“Yes.” I glare at him, pissed he’s making me admit this shit. “Annoyed, angry, and murderous feelings.”

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