Page 46 of Wicked Games

I wait to see if she says anything more, then scroll through our week of texts, scanning to see what the hell we talked about.

Most of it is gossip, but there are a few moments where she tried to open the door for me to tell her what’s going on, but I didn’t take the opportunity and instead shut her out.

One of the side effects of the pills is that they dull everything and put me in a state of perpetual apathy. I don’t feel sad orhappy or scared, I just feel numb and like I’m not fully connected to the world. It’s kind of like when people say they feel like they’re on the outside of something and looking in. Like I’m observing my life instead of living it.

When I’m sure I haven’t completely messed things up with Eden, I exit out of our texts and tap on the thread from the unknown number.

Unknown: 00000000000000

I stare at the message for a few beats, then delete it and toss my phone aside. Whatever, it’s not the first time I’ve gotten a wrong number, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

Theclickof the door unlocking startles me out of the daze I’ve fallen into. I have no idea what time it is, but the last time I checked my phone, it was almost two in the morning. I’ve been in bed and trying to sleep since just before midnight.

The door swings open, and Killian walks into the room. The dim light from the hallway creates an eerie backlight effect that makes him nothing more than a silhouette.

I keep still as he carefully closes the door behind him and creeps into the room.

That’s weird. Usually Killian makes a point to be as loud as possible when he comes and goes, no matter what time of the day or night it is. Is he being careful so he doesn’t wake me up?

I almost laugh at myself. Of course he’s not being careful because of me. He’s just acting like a normal person instead of being an insufferable jackass.

I can’t see him when he’s on his side of the room without moving and letting him know I’m still awake, so I track him through the sounds of him getting ready for bed. The rustle ofclothes, a drawer opening. Heavy shoes hitting the floor, and the clink of his watch when he puts it on his bedside table.

There’s some more rustling, then he’s walking across my line of sight and heading to the bathroom. I stare at the rectangle of light that shines around the closed door as he does his nightly routine.

I’ve been regretting my decision to not take any sleep aids tonight since about five minutes after I lay down. I hoped he’d crash wherever he spends his nights when he’s not here, but no such luck.

The light in the bathroom goes off, and the door opens. I trace my gaze over him as he walks back to his side of the room. The room is mostly dark except for some ambient light coming through the windows, but the shadows only enhance his physique and show off the many dips and curves of his muscles.

Killian pauses when he’s halfway across the room and glances in my direction. I can’t see his face, and I know it’s too dark for him to see that I’m awake, but I can practically feel his gaze on me as he stares at my bed for a few beats before continuing on his way to his side of the room.

His bed creaks as he gets settled, then the room is silent again.

I’m just letting my mind wander when I hear something. Breathing, but not normal breathing. It’s labored and heavy. Then there’s a soft sigh, a sharp inhale, and a long exhale.

I freeze when I hear him moan. Is he jerking off?

I spent four years at boarding school before coming to Silvercrest, so I’m no stranger to the quiet late-night jerk-it-when-your-roomie-is-asleep method of getting off. I’ve heard multiple roommates doing solo time over the years, the same as they’ve heard me, but it’s different when it’s Killian on the other side of the room.

With my old roommates, I just shut out the sounds and ignored them. I didn’t picture them spread out on their beds and working their dicks, but that’s exactly what I’m doing now as I listen to my stepbrother get himself off.

His low moans and gentle, panting breaths are so different from the last time I heard his pleasure sounds. Those were loud and aggressive and unrestrained.

My body tightens, and my face and chest flush hot as the image of Killian standing over me and jerking off invades my senses. That was so hot, and I still don’t even understand why. Having him over me like that, the things he was saying, none of it should be sexy. But what’s even more messed up is that it wasn’t his orgasm or even the moment I saw his genuine surprise when I chose to blow him that made everything so erotic—it was finally letting go.

For the first time in my life, I didn’t play a part and just let myself be in the moment. I said what was on my mind, I did what I wanted, and I loved every second of his filthy mouth and how he so easily took me apart like he memorized my instruction manual.

His breathing picks up, and he lets out another soft moan that goes straight to my already hard dick.

I hold still, barely daring to breathe so he doesn’t realize I’m awake. I want so badly to jerk off with him, to remember how good he felt, how hard he made me come. But I don’t.

Instead I close my eyes and focus on the sounds coming from the other side of the room. His breathing picks up, and his moans grow louder as he gets closer to his orgasm. My body is burning up, and my dick is screaming at me for some attention, but all I can think about is how much I want to hear him finish.

I get my wish a second later when I hear him let out a low groan. Then his breathing changes again, going from fast and strained to even and sated.

“What did you think of the show, little brother?”

Killian’s voice is so sudden and unexpected I freeze. Oh shit.

---