Page 15 of Finlay

He wasn’t that considerate just because it was his job, but because he knew what it was like to be in my shoes. He understood the ocean of grief. The ebb and flow of it. How the water could be calm one moment, and then a rogue wave would sweep you off your feet.

He understood.

What was more, it was after he said that that he’d wrapped things up. Was that because he could sense how strong the tide of my grief was becoming? Or was it because his own emotions were getting the better of him?

It doesn’t change anything,I told myself as I parked up outside the clan house.It changes nothing.

My wolf howled inside me and I flinched as the truth sank in.

It shouldn’t have changed anything.

But it had.

Chapter 4

Chester

Finn’s visit lingered in my mind long after he walked out of my shop.

Not that it was surprising, given what he’d disclosed. Having to make displays for anyone who had died before their time was sad.

But when one of those people was a child? It was devastating.

He’d said it wasn’t a recent loss, but Finn clearly wasn’t over it. That too was unsurprising. Losing a child you loved wasn’t something anyone would get over. I didn’t have children, but I knew I’d feel the same if I were in his shoes.

It was a loss unlike any other.

I hadn’t asked him how they’d died or exactly when. That wasn’t as relevant as how they’dlived. That was what I wanted Finn to remember. That was the part of their story I wanted to honour.

Seeing how earnestly Finn loved Sarah and Maria had made my heart ache. It shone brightly in every word and story he shared. It was devastatingly beautiful to know he’d loved that much, only to lose them.

Selfishly, it’d also reminded me thatthere was no one alive who I loved like that. Or who loved me.Not anymore. Back at the start, before everything became twisted and jaded, I’d believed Matt loved me that way.

But I’d been wrong. And any love I’d had for him had been washed away by his insults, gaslighting, and manipulations.

Meeting with Finn had been a stark reminder that the last person to show me such unconditional love was gone. Her ashes were in the urn beside those of my parents.

If Gran had been alive when Matt and I first started talking, she would’ve seen the warning signs. She would’ve encouraged me to slow down, to prioritise my own wants and needs above Matt’s. There was no way she would’ve advocated for me uprooting my entire life just to be closer to him.

Not that that would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have moved away from her. When my parents died during a freak plane crash, Gran lost her only child along with her son-in-law. Well into retirement, she’d believed her child rearing days were long behind her.

That hadn’t stopped her from immediately moving from Scotland to Yorkshire to the house I’d shared with them. She hadn’t wanted to upend my life any more than it had been already. Her life was another matter though. Instead of cruising around the Caribbean, Gran had spent her twilight years chasing around a toddler. All of her plans got put on hold to care for me.

I’d asked her once if she minded. If she ever looked back on those years with regret. She’d fixed me with one of her classicGranlooks before saying “That’s like asking me if I mind breathing, lad. I care for you because I love you, and it’s as simple as that. I can’t help but do it.”

It had been five years since she’d passed, but grief didn’t have an expiration date. Speaking with Finn had brought it all back for me, the same as it did whenever I ate a roast dinner or heard theEmmerdaletheme tune.

So, no. It didn’t surprise me that his visit was still on my mind days later. What did surprise me though, was that it wasn’t for any of those reasons.

It was because of his smile. The way it tugged his lips higher on the right side than the left. His Scottish accent that I should have been used to, but which somehow sounded far richer from his mouth. How his green eyes sparkled as he met me pun for pun. The laugh that lingered in my ears to this day, filling the silence of the shop.

Finn was gorgeous, charming, even flirtatious.

Those were all reasons why I shouldn’t be thinking of him. They were red flags that pretended to be green. Ones Matt had waved, and I’d blindly ignored.

I wouldn’t ignore them again. Not this time.

Matt had been charming once. He’d made me feel like the most important person in the world. Like I could achieve anything I wanted to. He’d done that so I wouldn’t notice the barbs. The quiet questioning of my worth and whether the decisions I was making were the right ones. The sneers about my outfits or the food I ate. For so long, they’d passed me by.There was no way Matt was abusing me. Not with how he’d first treated me.

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