Page 17 of Finlay

The man himself stepped out from behind a tree, his face creased in confusion. For some reason, he was shirtless. His chest seemed broader without the material covering it, the layer of hair doing little to hide the musculature beneath. And, Jesus, was that an eight-pack? “Why are you in the middle of the woods at night?”

There I was ogling him, and he had to open his mouth and ruin it. My nostrils flared as what he was implying flashed through me. Did he think I was weak? That I couldn’t look after myself?

You were weak with Matt.

“It’s not the middle of the night, it’s barely seven p.m. Am I not allowed to be outside? Is it past my bedtime? Anyway, I could ask you the same thing. Whatareyoudoing out in the middle of the woods, and shirtless at that?”

“Slow down.” Finn’s brows rose along with his hands. “I didn’t mean any offence.”

I closed my eyes briefly. Fuck, I’d done it again. What was wrong with me? I didn’t react this strongly with anyone else. Why was I doing it with him?

It’s because you’re attracted to him and that’s fucking terrifying.

I pressed my hand against my chest, willing to my heart to slow as I processed that. It was normal to be attracted to Finn. He was gorgeous. But it was also normal to be frightened by it. He didn’t mean to, but he kept inadvertently reminding me of the past I so desperately wanted to forget. “No, I’m sorry. You startled me, that’s all.”

“It’s okay,m’eudail. I didn’t have any right asking you that.”

I didn’t even attempt to replicate the word he’d used, knowing I’d butcher it. “What does that mean?”

Finn’s brow drew in. “What?”

“That word you used.” I gestured haphazardly. Fuck’s sake, I was going to have to attempt it. “The mmdoola one.”

Finn’s lips curled in a grin, though, like a gentleman, he didn’t laugh. “M’eudail?”

I held my chin high, pretending what I’d said had come vaguely close.“That’s the one.”

His smile faded. “Shit, I didn’t mean to call ye that. Force of habit. Anyway, I just went for a swim in the loch.”

I mean, it was warm, but it wasn’tthatwarm. “In September?”

“Aye.” He winked at me. “Good for the muscles.”

My eyes swept over him from head to toe. “I can see that.”

I swear, Finn flexed his pecs. My gaze shot back to his face to see him smirking at me. “I try to keep in shape.”

Heat flushed my cheeks, and I felt my shoulders pull in. What was I doing? One minute I was snapping at the poor man, the next I was ogling him.

Fatigue filled me, as deep as the loch I lived beside. I hated this version of myself, the one Matt had created. No, the one I’dallowedhim to create. The one who didn’t know how to continue a normal conversation outside of a professional context. Who’d rather hide himself away than open up again.

“Hey.” Finn’s hand brushed my arm. “Are ye okay?”

I jerked away from his touch instinctively. Confusion flickered in Finn’s eyes, followed quickly by hurt.

“I’m fine,” I said shortly, more than ready to escape to the solitude of my house. Where there was no one I could upset. No one I could offend or hurt. No one who needed me. That was what I wanted. “I was just out collecting flowers for your order. I’ve got enough now, so I’ll be heading back.”

Finn’s gaze fell to the basket at my feet, his eyes softening. “You found Scottish primrose.”

I picked up the basket so he could have a closer look. I could be professional about this. “Yes. I’ve also gathered thistles and Scottish bluebells. Oh, and grass of Parnassus. Are you happy with the selection?”

When he didn’t say anything, I glanced up. My professional veneer cracked as I spotted the tear rolling down Finn’s cheek. “Finn?”

He snapped his head up, a hand dashing the moisture away. “Sorry. Seeing the primrose…I’d forgotten that Sarah loved those. She embroidered a dress with them once.”

I softened in the face of his grief. “Then I’m extra glad I found them.”

“Me too,” he said gruffly. He stared at the flowers, his hand trembling as he reached out to touch one.

---