Page 40 of Finlay

Besides, Buddy would be here soon. He’d listen to me yap on and on about my inane crush on Finn while I gave him tickles.

I needed to make his bacon. Well, our bacon. The dog was more stubborn than most humans I’d met, only eating if I was too.

I was just plating it up, alongside some fried mushrooms andblack pudding, when Buddy nosed through the door. I left it ajar for him so he didn’t need to wait to come in.

“There’s my Buddy,” I crooned, dropping to my knees and opening my arms. “I’ve missed you.”

Buddy bounded straight into my embrace, nuzzling into my neck. He was the only living being I got any physical contact from these days. It was hard to get my arms around him with how big he was, but I made it work. He was a good boy who deserved good hugs.

“Come on,” I said when I’d fussed him lots. “Let’s have breakfast. Reid’s opening up for me today, so I’ve got more time. Think you can hang out with me a bit longer?”

Buddy’s head bobbed and I laughed. “It really looked like you were nodding there.”

I chatted nonsensically to him as we both ate. As always, Buddy watched me carefully to make sure I was eating before starting himself. Funny dog.

When we were both finished, I made my way to the porch, Buddy hot on my heels. I sat on the bench, and Buddy immediately put his head on my lap as he sat on the floor beside me.

“Maybe I should get a bigger bench,” I mused, ticking behind his ears. “One big enough for you to curl up next to me on.”

Buddy huffed as if such an idea was ridiculous.

“You’re right.” I laughed. “It’d need to be made of concrete or steel to bear the weight of both of us. I don’t think that’s really in keeping with the local aesthetic, do you?”

Naturally, Buddy couldn’t answer me, but that didn’t stop me talking. “It is a wonderful local aesthetic. And yes,I’m talking about Finn’s workout routine. Did I tell you he’s started leaving his clothes and towel right outside my kitchen window? It’s like he’s trying to torture me.”

Buddy’s tail wagged as he blinked up at me.

“I know, he doesn’t even know I live here.” I sighed. “And if he did, I doubt he’d be stripping off right where I could see him.” I fell silent for a minute as my thoughts idled back to this morning. To the yearning I’d felt watching Finn. “I know watching him is wrong, but I just can’t seem to help myself. I shouldn’t be attracted to him. I know that too.”

Buddy nudged my hand, almost like he was asking me to continue. To explain. I was probably making it up, but I swore this dog was more intelligent than several humans I’d met.

“It’s too dangerous,” I said finally. “A man like that could hurt me. Not physically—well yes, I’m sure he could, but that’s not what I’m worried about. But emotionally? Mentally? It’s too scary to go there.”

Buddy gave a small whine and I ruffled his fur. “Doesn’t stop me wanting to sleep with him though. God, what I wouldn’t give for just one night with that man. Just one. Hot. Night. When I could let my hair down and forget everything except Finn. I think he’d make it good for me. That’s all I’m after, really. Not a lot to ask, I know, but given my past experiences, the bar is on the floor. Past the floor. It’s languishing at the bottom of the loch.”

I stared out over said loch at the spot where Finn swam. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? Finn’s flirted with me, sure, but I doubt he’d look twice at someone like me. Not for anything more than some teasing banter. Even if hewouldbe amenable to a hookup, how would I make that happen? I’m lucky if I can form a sentence around himmost of the time. Then, when I do speak, I often say the wrong thing.”

Big green eyes blinked up at me intently. I smiled down at Buddy, so grateful to have a good listener.

“I should forget about it, I know. It’s not like I’ve run into him anywhere recently.And I can hardly open a window while he’s swimming and invite him in.”

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was my alarm, reminding me it was time to get on with my day.

“Oh well.” I switched off the alarm and gently eased Buddy’s head off my lap. “Guess that’s enough dreaming about things that’ll never happen.”

Chapter 12

Finn

Icouldn’t stop thinking about what Chester had confided in me. All of it. His loneliness. His cunt of an ex. His longing to expand his circle but not knowing how to do that.

I’d known there was something special about Chester from the first time I met him, but now, having spent so much time with him as Buddy, that feeling had solidified. It was like he’d crept under my skin and taken up residence.

The others had noticed too, making several jabs about my‘protection duty.’I didn’t give a fuck though. I’d hidden my interest in Sarah for obvious reasons, but I wasn’t about to do that with Chester. I didn’t give a fuck who knew that I liked him.

Because I did. I really fucking liked him.

This morning had been a revelation. He’d made several comments about me when I was ‘Buddy,’ but nothing as explicit as the bomb he’d dropped earlier.

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