Page 51 of Finlay

That wasn’t Matt’s voice, but my own fears. As much as I could see myself falling for Finn, I needed to go slowly.

He wasn’t Matt, but I wasn’t rushing into anything.

“You can ask me whatever you like,” I said when we parted. I was breathing heavily again, but for a much nicer reason this time. “If I can’t answer, I’ll let you know.”

“Do ye…” He swallowed hard. “Have ye had a bad experience bottoming?”

“No. I’ve had a bad experience asking to be topped.” I tried to smile at Finn, but it wouldn’t come. “My ex wasn’t the most flattering of blokes. Once he had me locked in, what I wanted in the bedroom was no longer a priority.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Finn said softly. “I can promise you’d never have that experience with me. I’ll always put your pleasure first.”

The funny thing was, I didn’t think Finn was lying. He genuinely would. “It’s fine, I don’t need that. I like my partner to be as satisfied as I am.”

Finn rubbed his nose against mine, his lips tantalisinglyclose. “Just being with ye is going to leave me satisfied, Chester. Trust me on that.” I went to kiss him, but he pulled back and frowned. “Hang on, what did you mean by he wasn’t flattering? Do ye mean he was insulting?”

I gave a half shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”

The desire in Finn’s eyes had turned to ice. “What kind of things did he say to ye, Chester?”

I hesitated. What if I told Finn and then he saw me the way Matt did?

“Chester—” He cupped my chin. “—whatever you’re thinking about now, you’re wrong. Nothing ye tell me is going to change how I see ye.”

“Can you read my mind?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“No, I can read your face,” Finn said bluntly. “Yer fear is written all over it. Nothing you say is going to change how badly I want ye.”

I wanted to believe that. To trust him. But trusting Matt had almost destroyed me. Could I open myself up to that again? Did I even want to?

Finn gave me a small encouraging smile, and I realised I did. I wasn’t sure I’d be successful, but I wanted to try.

I wanted to try for Finn. And for myself.

“Just about my size,” I mumbled, fixating on the carpet instead of Finn. “How no one would ever want to fuck me with how big I am.”

Finn went silent. Oh so deathly silent. I risked a glance sideways to see he’d gone completely still. The quiet before the storm.

From the look in Finn’s eyes, a storm was certainly brewing. Strangely, I felt no urge to run from it. To seek shelter. Finn had said he wouldn’t hurt me. I might not have been ready to fully trust him, but I believed that.

“Where is this man now?” Finn asked finally.

“Fuck knows,” I snorted. “I dumped him then moved up here. Haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

“Where’d ye live before?”

I tilted my head in confusion. “Portsmouth, why?”

“No reason.” He gave me a brittle smile.

I raised a brow. “I might not have known when Matt was bullshitting me, but apparently it’s very obvious when you’re doing it.”

That broke the tension, drawing a sheepish laugh from Finn as he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. “Sorry. I was wondering how long it’d take me to travel to Portsmouth and teach that prick a lesson.”

I blinked at him. “You’re not serious?”

“Possibly?” He noted my narrowed eyes and laughed again. “Don’t worry,m’eudail. I don’t even know his last name. He’s safe for the moment.”

He waggled his eyebrows in a ridiculous fashion and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’ve got a warped sense of humour.”

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