Page 78 of Finlay

He nodded. “Do you remember what you said to me that day?”

“Not really.” Most of it was hazy, which was common following a panic attack.

“First you told me that you would’ve let me eat you. Unfortunately, not in a fun way, more of an ‘I’m ready to escape this life,’ kind of way.”

I flushed. “I did?”

“Aye. Then you told me some stuff about your ex. Things that made me glad I was already shifted, because my wolf would’ve tried to force it.”

“Does that happen often? Your wolf forcing the shift?”

“Almost never,” Finn said. “Recently though, he’s tried a few times.”

The strange cracking noises.“Is that what happened in the shop? Your wolf was trying to force the shift?”

“Aye.”

“Why?”

“Because you’d been threatened.” His eyes were dark as he held my gaze. “My wolf didn’t like that. Neither did I, for that matter.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Secretly, I was thrilledthat he felt that protective over me, to the point where he almost lost control. But deeper than that, I was frightened by it. I’d been hurt and broken by a man not in control of himself. I couldn’t let that happen again.

Finn would never hurt me.

“That’s why you decided to come back another day? Because I trauma dumped on you about my ex?”

“No,” he said softly. “It’s because of the other thing you said.”

The memory hit me so suddenly, it was like a flash of light.“I’m so miserable. And so fucking lonely. But I can’t change that. I can’t let anyone close.”

“I knew you wouldn’t let me close,” he whispered. “I wanted to be there for you, but I didn’t know how to be. You were just so happy to see me as Buddy, I couldn’t help myself.”

My gut tightened. He was right. I wouldn’t have let him in. And Iwasso happy to have Buddy around. “I’m guessing you knew this was my house before we slept together.”

“Aye.” He winced. “Remember that day in the woods? When you were picking flowers?”

“Yes. You’d been swimming in the loch.”

He inclined his head. “After you walked away, my wolf was pissed. He didn’t want you to leave us.”

“Why not?”

“Because he already knew you were special.” Finn splayed his hand on the bedspread, his pinkie brushing mine. “It took me a little while to catch up, but Buddy? I think he knew from the moment we first saw you.”

I exhaled shakily. Finn was saying all the right things, but it was difficult to believe them. It fucking sucked too, because it wasn’t him.

This was all on me.

“You talk about your wolf, about Buddy, like you’re two separate entities.”

“We kind of are.” Finn pursed his lips as he considered it further. “But we’re also not. I’m made up of two halves—myself and Buddy. One wouldn’t be able to exist without the other. Buddy’s instincts are different to mine, more primal. He can force the shift and take control if I lose it. But he’s also just a part of me. We’re two beings, but we’re also one and the same. Does that make sense?”

“Kind of. He can influence you, but you’re ultimately the one in charge?”

“Yes. Unless someone I care about is in danger, or he perceives there to be danger. Then he can take over.”

“Like in the shop?”

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