Page 87 of Finlay

I tried not to focus on that too much though. What we were about to do was more important. Chester was about to meet those closest to me. He was going to be given a glimpse into the clan that was my home and purpose.

Not all the members, obviously. The vast majority had no idea what was going on between Chester and me, and Ididn’t intend on letting them know any time soon. I hadn’t even brought it up with the council. They’d push for me to mate him, not liking that I was bringing an unbonded human into the heart of our lands.

Since that wasn’t happening until Chester was ready and willing, I was keeping his presence quiet. Fortunately, the clan house was a refuge for myself and the others in my inner circle. None of the others would stop by unless there was an emergency. There was just Calan, Evan, and Logan for Chester to contend with. Didn’t seem like a lot, but their personalities could equal those of several people.

Especially Logan.

Fuck, maybe I should’ve waited. If he didn’t like them, would we be able to keep going forwards? Or would I have to let him go before we even started?

Please don’t make me choose between him and the clan.

I wasn’t sure who I was praying to. God existed, but I hadn’t seen much of her benevolence around these parts. In truth, any faith I’d had had been lost the night Sarah and Maria were taken from this world.

Chester followed my directions, parking his car beside Calan’s outside the main clan house. He peered at the structure through the window. “So, this is where you live.”

“Aye.” I tried to view it through Chester’s eyes. The weather worn logs that made up the external walls. The long porch surrounding it, large enough for several clan members to lounge on during the brief days of summer the Highlands were granted. The rambling outbuildings to one side that housed our livestock. The cottages that spun off in the opposite direction. “Well, I have a cottage too, but I tend to sleep in the main building.”

“Why?”

I considered his question carefully. “I think I’d tell otherpeople that it’s more convenient. That if something happens, at least I’m close by.”

He hummed. “That’s what you tell other people. What are you going to tell me?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide anything from Chester, but I’d never opened up about this. Not even to Calan. Certainly not to Danny. “I think…I think it’s because I’m too scared to leave. To stop working. I wasn’t here the night Sarah and Maria were killed. In the back of my mind, part of me wonders if it would’ve gone down differently if I had been.”

Chester’s hand slid over mine and squeezed. “I’m sorry, Finn. That’s a helluva burden to carry.”

I nodded. I wasn’t going to tell him it was okay. It wasn’t. I’d accepted it, but that didn’t mean I’d ever be okay with it. “I only leave the clan now if I absolutely have to. It’s easier than before. With Calan, Logan and Evan here, I know the clan is in safe hands.”

“You’ve slept over at my house a few times.”

“Yes. I don’t seem to worry about it as much if I’m with ye.”

“Why do you think that is?”

It was an excellent question. I had to search hard for the answer. “I think I’ve known for a while that the clan is safe without me here, but I think it took meeting you to realise I could be okay without the clan. Not permanently, of course, but temporarily.”

I lifted his hand and kissed it. “I thought I was keeping ye safe, Chester. But in a way, you were doing the same thing for me. Ye were teaching me that I could be happy away from here too. That I can have a life that doesn’t revolve solely around the clan.”

Chester’s smile was like a Scottish primrose—slow tobloom, but the beauty was worth the wait. “I’m glad. I’m learning that it’s healthy to step outside of your comfort zone.”

The front door opened and Logan waved ostentatiously. “Speaking of which, we’re about to be interrupted. Ready to take another step with me?”

Chester clocked Logan and chuckled. “Am I right in thinking he’s going to make this as difficult for you as possible?”

I glared at Logan warningly before sighing. “Ye sure are.”

“So, Chester, did Finn’s dick have cobwebs on it the first time you saw it?”

Chester turned scarlet at Logan’s question, choking on a mouthful of wine he’d been in the process of drinking. Alarm shot through me as I flashed back to last night. I didn’t think I’d forget the desperate, awful silence of him unable to breathe for a long time.

If ever.

Fortunately, Chester cleared his throat quickly, his voice a little raspy as he addressed Logan. “Cobwebs?”

We were sat around the dining table. Chester, Calan, Evan, Logan, and me. One of our warriors was out guarding Reid tonight so I could have my full inner circle here. Everyone was on their best behaviour, knowing how important this was to me.

Everyone, that was, except Logan. He seemed to be on a mission to make this as uncomfortable as he possibly could.

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