Page 9 of Finlay

After that, it was clear to all of us that Danny and Riley couldn’t stay. Not permanently, anyway. Our alpha had announced a decree that handed the political power to me, promising to return if a threat ever arose.

Once more, I’d found myself leading the clan—a position I’d never wanted but couldn’t deny that I loved. It had given me the sense of purpose I’d been missing. Diplomacy came naturally to me.

And when diplomacy failed? Let’s just say I was well equipped in that area too.

“What changed?” Calan pushed, scowling at me over the desk. “Why is it different now?”

I tried to find the words. How could I explain that it had shaken me to learn just how much Danny had moved on? That he had a new career, new friends, a fuckingmate?

I didn’t begrudge him any of those things. After what he’d been through, no one deserved happiness more than Danny. Even if he hadn’t lost his family, I would’ve wanted joy for him. I loved him.

But it had been a rude awakening nonetheless. While he’d been moving on, leaving his grief in the past, I’d been here, doing the same things I’d always done. I hadn’t moved on. Sure, I’d dragged the clan into the twenty-first century. I’d built a community I was proud to lead. But personally? I was still in the same place I’d been over a hundred and fiftyyears ago.

Don’t get me wrong, I hadn’t lived like a monk, but no one had touched my heart. I hadn’t wanted them to.

Seeing Danny’s happiness…it had unlocked something in me. Something I’d tried very hard not to feel.

Yearning.

I wanted what Danny had, but not like before. Riley was cute, but not for me. That feeling of love though? Of wanting someone so badly you can’t breathe? To not exist for anything other than knowing they were happy?

I wanted that. And I shouldn’t have.

Wanting that led to pain. It wasn’t like I’d ever even had my feelings reciprocated. Sarah had been the first and only one to capture my heart. But hers had belonged to Danny.

Losing her had cost me so much. The thought of losing someone who returned my love…who felt the same way I did…

I wouldn’t come back from it. The thought was too much.

What scared me more was that it wasn’t putting me off. I was selfish enough to still yearn for that kind of love. For the security of knowing the one you loved felt the same. Of wanting to make someone happy. Needing them to feel safe and comforted. I wanted to give someone all of it.

And that was what fucking terrified me. I knew what I stood to lose, but I wanted it anyway.

It was why I hid in this office. If I didn’t venture outside, I couldn’t find anyone. If I buried myself in the clan, maybe the yearning would go away.

Twelve months on, my brain was calling bullshit. As were my inner circle, apparently.

“Well?” Calan demanded, my silence tugging on his temper. My brother was the pack enforcer for a good reason.His temper was easily roused, yet cold andlethal.When he unleashed it on our enemies, he did so with deadly precision.

“Maybe he’s forgotten how to speak,” Logan said sagely. “Happens when you get old.”

I glared at him. “Yer the same age as me, dick. Don’t ye have somewhere else to be?”

“Nope.” Logan winked, swinging his slender legs. “Right here buggin’ ye is exactly where I need to be.”

Tempting as it was to fling something at his head, that wasn’t the way to go with Logan.Unlike my brother, his temper was uncontrolled. When he lost it, you wanted to make sure you weren’t anywhere in the firing line.

Unhinged didn’t even begin to describe Logan.

“Finn, opening up means we can help you,” Evan said diplomatically from against the wall. His hands were shoved in his jean pockets, tattoos winding up both arms. His light brown hair was a mess, like he’d shifted earlier and not bothered to fix it.

“I know.” I sighed. “I don’t really know what to tell ye. I’m just…in a rut.”

Logan snorted. “A rut is one thing. You’re in a fucking ditch.”

Calan reached over to swat at Logan’s head. “You’re not helping.”

“No, he’s right. I am in a fucking ditch.” I stood up before any of them could start fighting. If I had to replace the desk in here again, I’d be pulled before the council. They didn’t have the power over us that they once had—we’d made sure of that—still, they’d be pissy if we broke yet another piece of furniture.

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