Page 39 of Wedding Bet

“What do you think of this?” he asked. The sound of light rain was playing, but in the background, I swore I heard the sound of a downtown city. All the way here in the mountains.

I let my eyes flutter shut, just for a moment, taking in the sounds. “Heaven,” I finally said. “This is what heaven sounds like.”

“Pretty good, huh?”

I crossed over to the other side of the bed, lying down on top of the sheets. “It’s like they took all of thegoodsounds of the city and removed all of the bad ones. No angry cats, no one yelling, no screeching tires.”

“Just far-away chatter, a low hum of traffic, and the occasional rumble,” Jamie said. “And the sound of rain. Mostly just that.”

I let out a long breath, reaching over to where Jamie was sitting on the other side of the bed. I gently rubbed his lower back, and he sighed, leaning back just a little.

It was so good to touch him.

All I wanted was to keep touching him.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” I said softly. “I should have slept like a baby last night.”

“Sorry, are you talking? I can’t pay attention because you rubbing my back like that feels likemyversion of heaven on Earth.”

I smiled softly. “I can do the whole thing if you lie down for a minute.”

He hummed. “Don’t have to ask me twice.” He settled onto the bed and I scooted closer to him, letting my palm run across his shoulder blades and down each side of his spine.

“Thank you for setting up the sounds for me,” I said.

“Of course,” he told me. “And… about the sleep problems. Do you think there’s a chance that you’re just nervous for the wedding?”

My hand froze for a moment before I kept rubbing his back. “I’ve been to more weddings than I can remember. I don’t exactly think I’m nervous for it.”

“You don’t think there’s alittlechance?”

“Jamie,” I protested. “It’s just a wedding. Fuck it.”

“But you said you hate them.”

I squeezed his shoulder and a moment later he turned over, facing me. With his eyes on me, suddenly I felt more vulnerable. I couldn’t figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Maybe I just don’t believe in love anymore,” I said, surprised by my own words.

He lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”

In that moment, I knew that Jamie was one of the best bullshit detectors I’d ever known. I wasn’t able to lie to him, even if I was trying to lie to myself.

“Or maybe… it makes me feel lonely.”

Immediately his hand came out to grab mine, and he held my hand. “Shit.”

I let out a breath. “Sure, fine, I believe in love,” I said. “But I don’t know if I’ll ever have it again. And weddings make me think about that, and I don’t want to think about it. I want to ignore it.”

Jamie puffed out a quick laugh, squeezing my hand harder. “Sorry. I’m not laughing at you, but I appreciate your honesty. Youwantto ignore your own feelings?”

“God, yes, sometimes,” I said. “And I’m glad you’re still smiling instead of screaming in horror and backing away from me, which is probably what you should be doing when I start to open up. Forget about me, let’s change the subject.”

He shook his head a little, still watching me. “I don’t think it’s possible that I could forget about you now.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Quit saying things like that unless you’retryingto make me melt.”

It was nice to know that Jamie cared about me, even if his heart was clearly way too kind and I totally didn’t deserve his attention. But I had no idea what to do with his affection.

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