Page 21 of Best Friends, Tennessee

“I know,” he said. “But… you know. I had to get it off my chest.”

I was quiet for a while. The low humming sound of the refrigerator filled the air between us.

When I looked at Finn now, I couldn’t stop thinking about another guy on his knees, taking Finn’s cock into his mouth.

Another guy hadsucked him off.

In a million years I wouldn’t have believed Finn could do something like that.

I swallowed, looking up at him again. “Well. Thanks for telling me the part where you were sad about me leaving town, at least.”

He exhaled. “Don’t read too much into that. I was always proud of you for making it out to LA. That night was just a bad time. I was lonely.”

My head was still spinning.

I needed to get out and pound the pavement to clear my head, sooner rather than later, and if I had to look at Finn any longer I was pretty sure I’d spontaneously combust.

“I’m going to go for a run,” I said. “Want to come? Blow off some steam?”

Finn gave me a look that was half mischief, half guilt. “Well…”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to the Hard Spot again.”

He gave me a sheepish look. “I have a date tonight.”

“For fuck’s sake, Finn.”

“I know, I know.”

“Here I was feeling bad for you,” I said, “when you’ve got yourself a romantic little evening planned out already.”

“Trust me, I’d rather go on a run,” Finn said. “But I ran into Maddy Hagerson at the store earlier.”

“Wow, Maddy,” I said. “Haven’t thought about her in years. She always liked you.”

“Yeah,” Finn said, scratching the back of his head.

“All right. Have fun, Finn,” I said, already walking down the hallway to change into my workout clothes. “Like I said yesterday, if you bring her back here and fuck her, just please, God, do it quietly.”

“I’m just going to show her a good time, not have sex with her,” he protested.

Yeah, maybe you’ll find a nice, sweet gay guy to suck your cock instead.

Normally I’d have said that joke out loud.

“Have fun,” I called back to him, trying to act like I always acted toward him. I stepped into the guest room and shut the door behind me, leaning my back up against the cool wood and taking a breath.

My body was still so hot. Thinking about Finn doing anything with a guy was… well, it didn’t even feelpossible.

Goddamnit.

A strange possessive streak hit me like a blast of fire the moment I was alone. I’d been Finn’s only openly gay friend through all of high school, and he’d never even let on asliverof curiosity about anything having to do with men.

Part of me felt like I’d missed out on some key moment for him.

If I’d been in town, I could have been there. I could have heard the story right after it happened, or even been there with him that night.

Heneededsomeone that night, and I’d been off in LA, completely certain that Finn was on his usual, predictable life track.

---