Page 116 of Bad Cowboy, Tennessee

“You’re right. Initially, it was real. For the first couple of months, it was a genuine interest. She met me, dated me, and quickly started to learn why I was… not boyfriend material. I scrolled all the way to the beginning of my father’s messages with her. He came to her when he got the sense she might be about to leave me.”

“Fuck.”

“She was ready to move on. He made a deal too sweet for her to do that. It wasn’t that Lily neverlikedme. She liked me, and she was interested in me. It was just that she realized she could never love me.”

“Shewouldn’t?—”

“She would,” I said firmly. “Just another person whose life rules get bent, get fucked up, by being anywhere close to my orbit.”

Max found the edge of my bed and sat down there. He looked at a faraway spot on the floor for a while, processing the information just like I’d needed to, long ago.

“But she’s just like me.”

“In a lot of ways, yes. Being with Lily always felt too good to be true. Hearing someone tell me they loved me, even after seeing the way I lived. I always knew I didn’t deserve love, but there was Lily, giving it freely. Accepting me, even after nights where I didn’t sleep, and I came upstairs with bloody knuckles. Only makes sense why she said she never cared if I slept with other people—in fact, she encouraged it?—”

“Fuck this. No.”

My insides felt hollow.

“The moment we got to Tennessee, he cut her off, and she broke things off with me politely.”

“I can’t handle this. I need to call her.”

“Don’t. Lily deserves to let the dust settle on her own.”

“But…”

“I don’t blame her, Max,” I told him. “I really don’t. I even still have some form of love for Lily. She is a good person.”

“She lied to you. And fuck, to me?—”

“Money does strange things to people. Coming into contact with power like my father does, too. It’s for the better. It’s over now. I’m going to let it be part of the past, and you should, too.”

“If you think I’m not going to talk to my sister about this, you’re out of your fucking mind.”

It was a little strange, watching it happen in real time.

Watching Max start to comprehend how empty my world could be, even when it was so full of wealth.

I had everything, but really, not much of it was real. My horses, yes. The friendship I had with Dominic. The way I loved the mountains and the land here.

That was about all.

“Now do you see why I kept this from you? Why it’s not even fully my story to tell?”

He didn’t say a word.

There was still one thing I hadn’t told him, something Icouldn’t, even as it pushed at my insides like an overinflating balloon.

There was one final secret.

That one moment when I’d hurt someone IsworeI’d never touch.

His face, down in the dirt.

My hat, held in one hand.

His pulse, only barely still beating.

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