Page 17 of Exrated
“Jesus…” I toss my head back against the couch and drag in a deep breath. “Doesn’t look so good¸ does it?”
“I mean, I’m fucking jealous of you, but I’m a guy. Girls—what girl wants to date a porn star, well, maybe some of them want to, but basically, you are not relationship material, my friend. It’s your job to fuck girls. Girls get all dildo happy over you. You can never be in a monogamous relationship again.”
This is the first time since I started porn three months ago that I realize how fucked up it actually is.
As soon as I get inside the apartment, I drop my purse on the couch and go to the sink to get a glass of water. I turn the tap, butnothing more than a trickle comes out.“Damn it.”
“What,” Heather asks as she flings herself on the sofa and closes her eyes.
“The water, did we pay the bill?”
“Hell if I know. Probably not.”
“I thought I paid that the other day,” I say. “I can’t keep up with this crap.” Iwalk away from the sink, grabbing my laptop from the counter before I plop down on the sofa next to her.
“What are you doing?” Heather asks, peering at me through one halfway opened eye.
“Looking for another job.”
“No…”
“That kid’s show was my only shot. I got turned down for a hemorrhoidcommercial the other day, Heather. How many people want to be the spokeswoman for rectalitching, huh?Evidentlya lot.”
“Just get another waitressing job.”
“Fuck no.” I pull up the classifieds.
Heather groans. “Didn’t you just go on some audition for another commercial or something?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “Vagisil.”
This is what I have been degraded to, hoping to be the face America associates with a dry vagina. Fuck my life right now. “I have to get a job,” I say.
“Who are you? I don’t even know who you are right now. I want my carefree friend back, the one who tells Kristen Stewart to go fuck herself because she would have played a much better Bella Swan.”
“I need to figure out what I’m actually gonna do with my life.”
“Well, didn’t you say a few people had called David about porn.”
I snap my head to the side and glare at her. “Really?” I say.
“Yeah, I mean, I watched the whole video of you and Stone, and all I have to say is damn—you are flexible!”
Rolling my eyes and huffing, I swat at her. “The fact that you watched that is so fucked up.”
“Nah, it’s not,” she says. “Morbid curiosity. Stone Steele if fucking banging. My vagina is jealous.”
“Yeah, banging but not worth the shit I’m dealing with right now.”
“Well, he tweeted he was sorry.”
I glare at her.
“Look,” she says. “All things happen for a reason, right?”
“Uh, no.”
She pats me on the head like a child. “Sure they do.”
