Page 18 of Exrated
“Heather…”
“You make a porn video on the phone with a rock star—I mean, who does that…”
“Heather…”
“And then somehow it gets on the internet…”
“Heather…” My glare hardens.
“And then you do porn!”
“Again, no!”
“Look, that’s your golden ticket.”
She has lost her fucking mind.
“Seriously, Jenna Jameson, she ended up in movies.”
“What movies?”
“There was thatZombie Strippersor something like that. I mean, it may have tanked, but still, she was in a movie. You were destined to suck his cock. Sucking that cock will lead you to fame. If you suck it, they will come.” She giggles. “Oh, shit, I didn’t mean like come as in jizz…” she laughs so hard she snorts. “I think I have a hidden talent with sexual innuendos.”
“Well, I don’t have porn boobs, so I think I just need to become a dentist or something.”
“Quitter.”
I roll my eyes. “Quitter?”
“Yep. Little bit of resistance and you’re going to take the easy route. Fucking dentist,” she says under her breath.
“Being a dentist isnoteasy.”
She tosses her hands in the air. “How hard can it be to look at someone’s teeth and drill holes in them?”
“Heather…” The song “Come Down” by Bush blares from across the room, prompting me to get up to find my phone.
“I’m just saying, most celebs hit rock bottom before the make it big. You can’t quit before you’ve even hit rock bottom.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I grab my purse and dig through it.
Heather grumbles as she rolls off of the couch. “I’m going back to bed. My vagina is sore, my head is pounding, and I can’t adult right now.”
My phone is still ringing, and when I pull it from my purse, I see David’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Jemma…”
“Yeah…”
“So,” he sighs which is never good. “You didn’t get the Vagisil commercial.”
I swallow. Honestly, tears are welling in my eyes right now. This is beyond sad. It was a Vagi-fucking-sil commercial. I could have been out in a club, and a guy could have come up to me and thought—Vagisil girl, but those dreams have been shot to shit.
“Thanks,” I say.
“So, I know you need some money. I have a friend—a director friend—that needs a new PA.”
