Page 42 of Exrated
The doors to the elevator open, and we both step in. Tyler pushes the button then leans against the side. I can feel him staring at meso I glance up. His expression is blank, his gaze hard. “So, are we just gonna ignore each other unless we’re forced to work together?” he asks. “Is that how this is gonna go?”
“No, I just…I mean, it’s not like we have much to say to each other, right?”
“Right.” He laughs that sarcastic chuckle that used to make me want to choke him.
“Just, I don’t know you anymore. You don’t know me.”
The elevator dings with each floor it passes, and it can’t go fast enough.
Rolling his eyes, he shakes his head. “It’s not like this was my fucking life goal, you know?”
“Thank God for that.”
He exhales. “Like you’re holier than thou.”
“Fuck off. I’m working with a porn company, obviously, I’m not that uptight, but I’m also not the one fucking some over made girl with fake tits in front of a camera.” I smirk. “I’m not at risk for venereal diseases.”
“God, I forgot how evil you are.”
“Evil?”
“Yeah, when you get angry you are fucking mean. Always have been.”
I don’t say anything, but he sure is laughing.
“Just like that time when we were nine, and you got pissed at me for putting war paint on all your Barbies, you weren’t pissed then, were you?”
I roll my eyes.
“You are that kind of person that let’s shit seethe and then BAM you do something psychotic,” he says.
“You forgot that you made them have an orgy in the mansion pool. I was mortified.”
He laughs. “You waited a week to get me back for that.” I shrug, trying not to laugh because what I did was so gross. “You took Bullet’s dog shit and crammed it in my Fisher Price bubble blower, then mixed it up with bubbles. You actually went and got it to play with it, then came back to me all teary eyed because it wouldn’t work, so what do I do? I twist off the cap and go to look inside. Dog shit and bubbles. I threw up, and you laughed at me.”
“You deserved it.”
“Maybe… I mean, I did piss in your sandbox later that day, so, I guess it’s all fair.”
I shake my head.
“So,” I sighs. “I hate to think what you’re going to do this time.”
“I’m not angry.”
“Yeah, you are.”
God, I want him to think I don’t give a crap. I look at him, still unable to comprehend that he actually is a porn star. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Iknowhe is one because that visual from the other day will never be erased from my mind, but still, looking at him leaned against the elevator wall in his jeans and t-shirt, I just can’t see it. I still see that boy I grew up with.
The elevator doors slide open, and we step out.
“The point is,” he says. “I’m not a whore, as contradicting as that sounds.”
And as much as I want to believe that, I can’t.
The dry California heat surrounds me the second I step out onto the sidewalk. I adjust my dick in my pants. Shit feels all dry, and there’s little crumbs of plaster in my pubes. Jemma sighs behind me, and I turn to look at her. The wind catches her dark hair and she swats it out of her face, swearing. Fuck, I want to kiss her. It’s weird actuallywantinga girl. When you do what I do, it really doesn’t leave much room for desire.
We stop at a crosswalk, and I blatantly stare at her, remembering the first time I saw her. We had just moved into our house, and I was in the driveway riding my bike with my little brother, Brent. She came out on her front porch dressed up in a pink tutu. She hopped down the porch steps, waving a wand in the air and singing the theme song fromAladdin. I stopped pedaling my bike and just stared. I may have only been six, but even at that young of age, she had me mesmerized. She went leaping through the yard, coming to an abrupt stop when she realized I was watching her. She waved. I waved. And later that afternoon she and her mom came over with chocolate chip cookies. From that moment on, we were always together. Thinking about that, it’s really fucking sad we let things end the way they did. I loved that girl right there so deep, so hard, and I had since the first time I saw her. I can’t remember a time in my life I didn’t love her, and if I’m honest, I never really stopped. This is fucking dumb as shit. There’s no reason for us to be dicks about this.
