Page 71 of Exrated
“Hmm. Maybe the time I told you that Burger Hut put ponies in their meat, and you threw up? Or what about the time I told you putting a piss-soaked washcloth on your face would clear up your acne?”
God, he’s always been an asshole.
The women in line stare and drool when we walk past them. The one in the front has the replica of Tyler’s dick clutched in her hand. I seriously cannot believe this is real life right now.
Tyler holds the door to the shop open. As soon as I’m inside, I see a banner with a picture of a flesh colored dildo—his very own personal dildo, the name ‘Johnny Depth’ in bright red letters to the side of it.
“Wow,” I say, reading over the description of his dildo. “Suction cup for pleasure during bath time, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Oh,” there’s a loud gasp, “My gawd!” A woman darts out from behind some of the shelving. She’s wearing a tight, floral dress and she’s either had a spray tan gone wrong or she’s laid in the tanning bed too much. She looks like Magda fromSomething About Mary.“Johnny Depth!” She scampers up to him, grabs his chin, pulls him down face level, and kisses both his cheeks. “My, my you are taller than I thought.” Taking a step back, she drags her eyes over him, stopping on his crotch. “I’m such a fan of your work. Such a fan. Probably your number one fan. Actually, I used little Johnny—that’s what I call your cock cast—last night.” She winks as she waggles her eyebrows. “Grrrr.”
“Oh, well…uh,” Tyler says, slowly taking several steps back. “Glad it’s a good product.”
“Verygood product. And I tell you what,” she bites down on her lip, “if I got ahold of the real thing, it would need a cock cast.”
Tyler looks mortified. He’s still backing away from her, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fully enjoying this. “Cock cast?” I ask.
“Yep. I’d ride his cock so hard, it would need a cast by the time I’m done with it.”
“Oh,” I stifle a laugh, “Wow.”
There’s a loud bang when Tyler bumps into the table behind him, knocking over a tower of penis molds.
“Oh, look at me just fawning over you,” she says. “I’m Sue.” She holds her hand out for me to shake. “I think everything he needs is at the table. Pen. Pictures. Water. Dildos.”
Nodding, I glance at the table and find Tyler attempting to rebuild the wall of cock. “Thanks,” I say.
“Well, I’ll be back in a little while.” She winks. “Have fun, sugar.”
Dragging the metal chair out, I glance at him. “Sugar.” I laugh. “You could make the woman’s life if you let her try the real thing out.”
“Fuck off. That’s sick.”
“Women get wiser with age; she could probably rock your world.”
“I’ll pass, thanks.”
He sits down, pulls the chair to the table and the first middle-aged woman approaches, dildo in hand.
“You are my favorite,” she says, smiling. “That tongue of yours. Mmph.” She arches her brows.
“Thanks,” Tyler says.
“I wanted you to sign this one. Don’t worry, I’ll retire this one and use the backup I’ve got at home from now on.”
I fight a laugh. I fight it hard. She stares at him like an absolute creeper while he signs the fleshy silicone. She thinks she can fuck him. I can see it in her eyes. After all, he is a porn star…or maybe it’s just that she has watched him fuck so many times, she’s seen him in the most intimate situations a person can have, maybe she feels like she knows him.
Tyler hands the dildo back to her, stands up for a picture—during which, the woman grabs his ass—and then she walks off.
As soon as he sits back down, I lean over to him. “You know,” I whisper as the next person walks toward the table. “You just held something that woman has had inside her quivering vagina.”
He swallows and exhales. “Did you have to say quivering?”
“Yep. Quivering wet folds.”
He gags a little, then smiles as the next woman hands him her replica of little Johnny.
