I stare out of the window, watching the sea of clouds pass beneath the wing. Sighing, she lays her head on my shoulder. I rest my chin on the top of her head, breathing in the girly scent of her shampoo. I’m not really sure what’s going on, but I’m too fucking scared to ask because whatever this is—I like it. We haven’t talked about last night. Hell, we haven’t really said much to one another.
Two hours later, a cab drops us off in front of my house. When I close the door behind us, I can see the uncertainty in her eyes. My heart’s thumping against my chest, my palms sweating. I’m afraid she’s going to change her mind any minute. There is so much I want to tell her, promise her, but words could never convey what I feel for her. I drop my bag to the floor before pulling the strap of her carry-on from her shoulder and tossing it to the side. My gaze drags over her face, fuck she’s so gorgeous. My breathing isuneven; her chest is rising in uneven swells. Jemma is the only fucking woman that can do this to me.
Gripping her thighs, I lift her up and spread her legs as I pin her against the door with my hips. Her thighs clamp around my waist as she fists handfuls of my hair, yanking my face closer to hers. I swipe my tongue over the curve of her throat, tasting her while inhaling the scent of her skin. “God, I fucking want you,” I say against her ear before I jerk her away from the door and carry her through the house to my room. I can feel the heat of her body through my jeans, and my cock feels like it’s about to tear through the fucking material. Jemma’s eyes are locked on mine as I lower her to the bed. I take in her face, the face I’ve loved since I was six years old thinking about all the time we’ve wasted. Grabbing the front of her sundress, I yank the material apart, tearing the thin fabric from her body. Chill bumps scatter across her skin when the air hits it. My dick throbs at the sight of her nearly naked on my bed. I rip my shirt over my head, stand, then shove my jeans and boxers down in one swift movement.
Her dark eyes trail over my body, touching every last inch of me. It doesn’t matter how many women I’ve had sex with, none of them can look at me like she does. None of them fucking matter. Only her. Slipping my fingers beneath the thin strap of lace crossing her hips, I tug her underwear over her thighs and down her legs before carelessly tossing them behind me.She props up on her elbows and sets her eyes on me as I gently take both of her thighs in my hands and shove them apart. I stare at her, biting down on my lip before I inch my way toward her pussy. She watches every move I make as I slowly drag my tongue along her slit. She’s so fucking wet. Goddamn, I love this. A breathy moan slips from her lips when I suck her clit into my mouth. Within a few seconds, she’s moaning and fisting my hair, and as much as I’d love to have her come on my face, I want to be inside of her.
The second I climb on top of her, she spreads her legs, hooking them around my waist and drawing me against her body. The tip of my dick brushes against her and I stop myself. Leaning over her, I brush the hair from her face as I stare into her eyes. I slide inside of her and fuck me, there is no better feeling than this right here. I rest my forehead against hers, our heavy breaths mixing together. “I fucking love you, Jemma,” I breathe against her lips.
Her eyes slam shut. “I love you too.”
I move inside of her, fucking her with long, slow thrusts. She cups my face with her small hands, gently rubbing her thumb along my jawline like she’s trying to hold me to her—like she’s afraid if she lets go I’ll vanish. Taking her thighs in my hands, I roll over, pulling her on top of me. She sits up and shakes her hair from her face before she drags her nails over my chest. I thrust my hips beneath her, forcing my cock deep inside of her. Jemma throws her head back on a moan as her thighs attempt to move together. Another hard thrust and her back goes into a deep arch. I grab onto her back and pull myself up, bringing our torsos together. She rides me harder and I lower my head to her tit, sucking one of her perfect little nipples into my mouth. I dig my fingers into her hips, forcing her to grind harder and faster over me. My dick twitches, my muscles stiffen.
She grabs my face, tilting my head down. “Look at me, Tyler,” she says through a moan.
I stare at her and the way she’s looking at me like it’s the last time she’ll ever see me pulls at something in my chest. I trace my fingertip along the corner of her lip before I kiss her. The kiss is deep and lingering and something I know I’ll never find with anyone else so I just hold my mouth to hers, swallowing back each little moan that escapes her. Within moments, her nails drive into my shoulders, and she presses her sweaty forehead to mine as her entire body tenses. Her moans grow frantic and unhinged as she rides out the orgasm ripping through her body. The way her pussy clamps around my cock—fucking shit. I push up against her, driving so deep inside of her, my dick hits her end, and I fucking come so hard my vision blurs.
We both collapse on the bed out of breath and sweating. I grab onto her and drag her across the bed and to my chest and here we lie. Nothing could ever be this right. She said it didn’t matter to her if I quit. Well, she also said she’d never fuck me again. The thing with love is it’s fucking stubborn and so am I.
The sunlight wakes me up. Tyler’s arm is wrapped around me, his warm chest pressed against my bare back. At one point, this is exactly how I imagined my life—waking up to him every morning. My chest tightens and I fight back tears because as much as I want this, I know it could never work. If I ask him to quit, I’m afraid he’ll resent me, and besides, I’ve got my career.
If this series works out for me and I end up getting roles in movies, I’ll be gone more than I’ll be home and how is that fair to him? The people we’ve turned into aren’t the kind of people who can hold down a relationship, and to be honest, neither of us are that responsible. I think maybe I should wake him up and tell him goodbye, but goodbyes suck. And, let’s be honest, I tell him goodbye, I tell him this can go nowhere, we’ll argue. I’ll end up in tears. I would rather have this memory. Is it selfish? Yes. Is it the coward’s way out? Absolutely. But we all have our faults, and mine is letting this boy go.
I start to get up, but the second I move, he holds me tighter. “Stay,” he says in a sleepy voice. “Just stay a little bit longer.”
Fighting against the emotions tearing me up on the inside, I relax and give into him. I close my eyes and fall back asleep in the arms of the boy who will always be my entire world, even if he can never really be mine.
The sound of the smoke alarm startles me awake. I sit bolt upright in the empty bed, my heart pounding. I start toward the door and realize I’m naked.Fuck. This is why you don’t sleep naked.Thankfully, I find my clothes at the foot of the bed, throw them on, and hurry into the hallway where there’s a thin cloud of smoke creeping along the ceiling.
“Fucking shit, Jake.” Heather’s voice floats down the hall. “The bacon’s fucking black. What are you trying to do, burn the house to the ground? Jesus!”
“I didn’t mean to burn it. You’re the one that wanted bacon.”
“Well, I don’t want charred bacon.”
“Then you should have checked it while I was taking a shit.”
“Oh, God. You’re such a fucking guy.”
I grab onto the wall and hold my other hand to my chest, my heart banging against my ribs as I attempt to calm down. Heather walks into the hall, fanning her hand in front of her face. She stops when she sees me.
“Well, hello. I didn’t know you were here.” She smiles before opening the front door to let some of the smoke out.
“Yeah... where’s Tyler?”
She shrugs. “Hey asshole, where’s Porn Scum?”
“He went to work.”
“He went to work,” Heather repeats and my stomach knots.
“Yeah. I heard the asshole.” It shouldn’t bother me that he’s at work because I knew this was not going anywhere, but it does. “Do you have your car?” I ask.
“No, you need to go home?”
“Yeah, I gotta get packed.”
“God,” Heather says with a smile. “I can’t believe you got that role! I’m so excited and pissed at the same time. I don’t want you to leave me.”