Page 10 of The Sun
“You’re squeezing my hand real tight,” she whispered. “Like you saw something.”
“Nah.”
Just then, the rumble of an old engine came from the distance. A car turned onto the road, only one headlight illuminating the thick marsh to the side of the highway.
Nudging Sunny with my shoulder, I guided her into the tall pokeweeds where we hid until the beat-up sedan sputtered past and the red glow of the taillights disappeared. I took a breath. “Let’s run. Okay?”
And off we went, sprinting through the grass and narrow pines, across the highway until the sand squeaked under our bare feet.
Ahead of us, I could barely make out the dashes of whitecaps on the ink-black ocean. There was no separation from the sea and sky except for the stars that resembled broken bits of glass strewn about space and the low-hanging, lonely moon.
The waves whooshed as they tumbled onto the shore.
The wind, sticky with mist, slicked my skin.
The second the warm, Gulf water rushed over my toes, weight lifted off my shoulders. This place had been my refuge for as long as I could remember. Beaches stretched on forever, dark dunes provided places I could hide, and there was just enough light from the moon and the stars to assure me I was safe.
Sunny’s shoulder brushed mine. The smell of candy caught in the wind, mixing with the saltwater and sand. We stood there in silence, the waves foaming around our feet as we stared out into the endless darkness.
I’d stood here a hundred times before, out of breath. Sometimes angry. Sometimes scared that I’d go home and Maw would be gone. But I had always been alone.
It was much better with Sunny than it was by myself, and I thought life would be better with her. Always.
I reached for her hand and held it because that’s what people do before they kiss, and I wanted to kiss her. In my mind, I believed if I kissed her like they did in the movies, all hard and strong and long, she’d love me. Maw always said that love had powers beyond measure, and that’s why, even though my paw was horrible, she wouldn’t leave him. She loved him.
I needed Sunny to love me so that if she ever did find out about that dark stain on my soul, she wouldn’t run away.
“Why do you say I’m like sunshine?” Sunny asked.
“Because you brighten everything up.” I hesitated. “Even me.”
“Even your storm clouds?”
“Yep.”
She sighed, resting her head against my shoulder. “Well, I think you’re like the moon.”
The water sucked back into the ocean, and another large wave crashed onto the shore, the tide coming up to our knees. “You think I’m dark and gloomy?”
“No. Because I feel bad for the moon, just like I sometimes feel bad for you. It makes the dark less scary, but no one seems to pay attention to it. Except me.”
I chewed at my lip, my heart pounding.
“And the sun and the moon belong together,” she added.
I smiled even though it seemed like the sun and the moon spent eternity chasing each other, one always rose while the other sank on the other side of the world.
We stood there, knee deep in the dark ocean, side by side, and the world felt right. For the first time in my short existence, it felt right.
Some people grow up with parents who love them and make them feel like nothing in the world matters as much as they do. I didn’t have that. Sunny was the only person who made me feel like I was that important, and I was fine with that. Even at the age of nine, she was my world.
“Sunny, when we get older, I’m gonna marry you.”
“Okay.” And with that, she ran back toward the shoreline, shouting for me to catch her.
I thought I’d chase that girl to the end of the world just like the moon chased the sun if she wanted me to.
I really thought that.
