Page 15 of The Sun
Elias kept his gaze aimed at the sea like I hadn’t just asked him to do something neither one of us had any business considering. “Okay.” Standing, he brushed sand from the back of his legs and then offered me his hand to help me to my feet. And we walked back through the dunes, arm in arm like we hadn’t spent the last seven years apart.
My insides twistedand knotted when I walked through the front door into the quiet, dark house while Elias waited out back below my window. Momma stood at the sink, washing bottles with Drew asleep in the swing beside the counter. Daddy was on night shift, which meant he wouldn’t be home until eight the next morning.
The picture of Jesus that hung on our foyer wall seemed to judge me when I walked past that night. Had I been seven, that painting may have been enough to make me march upstairs and never open my window, but I had found the older I grew, the more able I was to justify my sins when I want them vindicated.
I told myself that it was all right to sneak Elias into my room. If God had not moved him so far away, if my parents hadn’t hidden the fact that his Aunt Billie was coming to get him and given me time to say a proper goodbye, I wouldn’t have to try and soak up one lone night with him. By the time I’d reached the dining room doorway, I had convinced myself that I’d eventually feel true guilt over it and be able to ask forgiveness. After all, Pastor Fulmer said death row inmates were forgiven of murder all the time—if they truly were sorry. Sleeping next to a boy was nowhere near murder.
“Sunny? That you?” Momma called.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could go down to Betty’s and get our nails done. Let Daddy keep Simon and Drew for the afternoon.”
“Uh. Yeah.” I swallowed, and my heart hammered like a judge’s gavel. I walked through the dining room and into the kitchen, stopping beside the sink to kiss Momma on the cheek. “Goodnight.”
She shut off the water and placed the last bottle on the drying rack before she turned toward me. Her soft smile faded a touch, and somehow, I thought she knew. “Your cheeks sure are red,” she said, placing the back of her hand to my forehead. “You aren’t coming down with a summer cold, are you?”
“No.” I took a step back. “I just rode my bike really fast to get home on time. It’s hot.” My gaze strayed to the window. I worried how long Elias would be out there waiting.
“I think I’ll sleep on the couch. Drew seems to do better in his swing.”
“Okay.” I started toward the steps.
“Just come get me if you need me,” she said on her way into the living room.
I waited at the foot of the stairs until the lull of the television cut on before I went up.
When I brushed my teeth, my hands shook.
A lump formed in my throat when I pushed my bedroom door open.
My chest heated when I slipped into an old band shirt and sleep shorts. And when I stepped to the window to lift it, I thought for a second that I might pass out. I was going to hell and all for a few extra hours with a boy I never stood a chance with simply because he was too far away.
No sooner had I raised the sash than Elias’ fingers curled around the wooden frame. I grabbed his wrists and helped pull him up, thankful for the thick area rug that muted his subsequent tumble onto the floor.
While I could make out his face on the beach, his features had been shrouded in darkness. But here, in my room, I could see each tiny detail: the way his jawline had grown more defined, the subtle chestnut undertones in his hair, and his eyes that had a color not yet named.
Without a word, he clamored to his feet and took the few steps needed to close the space between us, then cupped my cheeks in both his hands. An unyielding heat seared through me as he inched his face closer and closer. It terrified me and thrilled me at the same time.
“I’ve been saving this,” he whispered, then pressed his mouth against mine in a feather-light touch, as though it were meant to be a question. Then his lips parted, and he kissed me harder.
My stomach flitted—butterflies—and my hands were clumsy, reaching for his neck, his hair.
I tried to mimic what I had watched in movies, but after a few seconds, I no longer cared how perfect it looked because the way his soft lips moved against mine was seamless. My pulse clanged in my ears, and parts of my body felt different, tingly like they’d just woken from a deep sleep.
When Elias finally pulled away, I was left against the wall with my eyes closed and my lungs desperate for air. That first kiss left me breathless, and I was pretty sure that I no longer owned my heart.
“And that’s proof,” Elias said.
“Of what?”
“That it’ll always be you and no one else.” He swept his fingers through my hair then crossed the room, kicking off his shoes before sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Always me what?” I asked.
“I’ve gone on dates with girls,” he started, and my heart clenched. “But I was never able to kiss ’em because when I close my eyes, the only thing I see is you, Sunny Ray.” He touched the middle of his chest. “The heart is only meant to love one person.”
Shakespeare had forever lost meaning to me because those words Elias had just uttered were mine. Only ours.
