Page 30 of The Sun
He nudged it with the toe of his boot. “You been all right?”
“Yeah. Can’t complain.”
“Glad to be back in Fort Morgan?”
I shrugged. “I guess. It’s better than Mississippi.”
“Mmm.” I hated when he made that noise. From my time at their house, I’d learned it meant he had something important he wanted to get off his chest. And that something was usually not anything I wanted to hear.
“Sunny,” he started and a slow pressure built in my chest. “She’s my little girl, and it’s my job to make sure she has the best path laid out for her.” His gaze met mine for the first time since he had arrived. A hint of regret swam in his old eyes but mostly just a warning. “I don’t know how to say this to you, Elias.”
I knew exactly why he was here. Finding a boy in his daughter’s bed didn’t sit well with him. At all. I’d never live that one down.
“You want me to stay away from her, huh?” I asked still holding his stare.
He finally looked away and gave a curt nod. “I don’t doubt you care about her, but you got yourself a real unsavory reputation. You and your brothers. Sunny’s still young and going through a little bit of a defiant streak, so I’m sure she’d love to ruffle my feathers, but she’s impressionable. I don’t want her to think. . .” His Ebenezer Scrooge brows pinched together. “Well, I don’t want her to think that this is normal.” He held out his arms, waving around at the shithole I lived in the way Vanna White would a prize onThe Price is Right. “I want better for her. You should, too.”
His thin lips pressed into a hard line. “Now I hate to say this ‘cause it’s gonna come out sounding all kinds of judgmental and mean, but not all things in life are fair. I remember what it’s like to be a teenage boy, thinking you’re in love and all. But you ain’t right for her.”
My fingers pulled into fists at my sides, my jaw tensed, and the rush of blood to my face set my cheeks on fire. It wasn’t the first time I’d had someone tell me I wasn’t good enough, but it was the first time it had sunk in.
My maw had come from a family similar to the Lower’s. Good Christians with a nice house who sat around the table eating Sunday dinner. I’d seen the pictures. I’d listened to my maw tell me stories about growing up in a good home while tears built in her eyes.
My paw had swept her off her feet with his good looks and charm, and then swept her right into meth and living out of motels. Swept her so far away from the lifestyle she once had that it seemed more akin to something out of a Grimm’s Fairy Tale. Almost too good to be true.
“Son?” Mr. Lower’s voice snatched me away from my derailed thoughts. “Did you hear me?”
“Yes, sir. I heard you.”
“Good. Now, you take care of yourself. Stay outta trouble.” He placed his hat back on his head, straightening it out before he ducked through the front door.
I swallowed when it banged closed.
“The hell?” Judah turned from the sink. “He just waltzes in here and says some crap like that, then tells you to stay out of trouble?” He pointed a butter knife at the door. “Screw him. Cops are dicks!”
I didn’t budge from my spot in the middle of the room. I just stared at the place Mr. Lower had stood while I listened to the gravel crunch under the tires of his cop car.
My vision throbbed with each hard beat of my heart. The blood that rushed through my ears drowned out everything except the words repeating in my head—She’s too good for you. All that anger grew like the pressure building behind a bullet in the milliseconds after a trigger has been pulled. Then bam it all exploded.
My fist went straight through the sheetrock in front of me. A poof of powder billowed into the air. Drywall crumbled onto the floor when I pulled my hand away from the hole. Crimson blood welled from my dust-covered knuckles.
“Dude,” Judah placed a hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged out of it. “He’s not right.”
“Sure he is.” I shook off the throbbing in my hand, snatched the bills from the table, and went to go grab that stupid metal box out of the air return.
I popped the lock, pulled out a plastic baggie with a ten scribbled on it in Sharpie, then crammed it in my pocket. “I’m going to meet Ben.”
And then, I left to go deal drugs, so I could pay my bills and continue to be not good enough for anyone.
The next day,I came into class late. Again.
I kept my eyes trained on the floor when I placed my tardy pass on Miss Weaver’s desk and then crossed the room to take my seat.
I made it thirty minutes into class before I glanced over at Sunny. The first two days, I wasn’t sure she even recognized me. Honestly, the way she looked at me left me unsure if I should even talk to her and now.
Well now. . .
I wanted to tell her I never forgot her. That I still cared about her and always would—that I couldn’t be upset with her for breaking up with me. She did the right thing, but I’d love her regardless. But there was no point.
