Page 52 of The Sun
“What?”
He inched closer to my face, the smell of cigarettes and beer heavy on his breath. “I said. Do you love him?”
One, two, three seconds ticked by, our gazes locked, our lips mere centimeters from one another. “What difference does it make?” I managed.
“Because your mine.”
His warm, parted lips met mine and, suddenly, I was breathless. That kiss felt like being born and dying all at the same time. A supernova heating and growing brighter and brighter until finally its mass was too much for the meager universe and it exploded, sending tiny fragments of stars and suns and moons hurdling into outer space. His hands cupped my cheeks, tilting my head back until it hit the hood of my car. The kiss deepened while bits and pieces of our souls bled together. When his tongue brushed mine, I no longer knew who was breathing for who because there was no end to him or me. Just us. And when he finally broke the kiss, it felt like my entire world collapsed a little.
His forehead pressed to mine. “God, I fucking miss you.” Every word filled with conviction, as though I were a priest and he was a sinner. “Just give me tonight. Please?”
My fingertips raked over his stubble and into his thick hair. I didn’t want to give him one night, I wanted to hand him every night I had left in my life, but sometimes we must settle. After all, we’re only supposed to live in the moment, and that moment right there, on the side of Highway 180, was one I hoped lasted forever.
12
Elias
Sunny stopped at a pay phone to ask her mom if she could stay at Daisy’s house. I only hoped Mrs. Lower wouldn’t call to check up on her.
By the time she pulled onto the gravel drive, I had sobered up a good bit. I wondered what in the hell I would do if her dad drove by and saw her car. Terrified because after kissing her, I would never be able to stay away. God, I was selfish as hell.
When the headlights of Sunny’s car bounced over the front of my crappy house, I sank down in the seat a little. She had probably never even been to the poor-side of town before.
She went to park, and I pointed through the window. “You might wanna go around back.”
“Why?”
“You want your dad to see your car here if he drives by?”
She whipped the wheel around so fast my cheek smacked the glass. After she had parked by the back door, we sat there, the engine idling and the radio playing some commercial for acne medication. I reached over and cut the ignition. When I opened my door, the headlights went out, plunging us into darkness as we walked toward the back steps.
“Watch out for that first one.” I pointed at the stairs. “It wobbles.”
My pulse sounded like war drums in my ears, warning me of the impending moral battle that lay ahead if I took her inside. But I’d worry about that tomorrow because at ten past midnight, I sure as shit wasn’t letting her go.
The unoiled hinges to the screen door creaked. I moved inside, holding it open. Sunny took two quick steps into the kitchen, then froze. “I can’t see.”
I flipped the switch. The fluorescent bulbs hummed before flickering to life. The TV in Judah’s room was on. I could barely make out the canned laughter floating down the hallway.
“Where’s your aunt?” she asked.
“She doesn’t live here.”
“Oh.” She paused. “So, it’s just you and your brothers.”
“Yep.”
“How do you afford to—”
“Don’t ask. Just. . .don’t ask.” Her dad was right; she was good. I was bad.
Selling a spot of weed here and there was the only way I could make bills and cover food. I was seventeen and still in high school. I’d tried jobs at fast food restaurants and grocery stores, but the five-fifteen per hour pay wasn’t enough to cover squat. Not even when I worked fifty hours a week over the summer.
I didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of my parents, and while I had every intention of veering far from that path once I graduated high school, for now, I was stuck doing things I was ashamed of. Stuff that made me the type of guy she had no business hanging around.
“You want some water?” I asked. Before she could answer, I’d grabbed two bottles from the fridge.
Once I handed one to her, she unscrewed the cap and took a sip, her eyes trained on the floor. I wondered what she was thinking. But instead of asking, I chugged my water.
