Page 27 of The Beginning and End of Everything
News of the fight spread from Billy’s school to mine, until it was all anyone talked about. I reveled in the new-found power. The bullies, who for years, had called me a pikey and Connor fat, now stayed out of my way. And the girls…well, the girls couldn’t get enough of me.
Which is what had led me to this moment. The moment where all of me needed to cross the line from boy to man in one fell swoop.
It was past time. I was a fighter now, and I needed to become a man in every sense of the word. Now I just had to figure out how to make that happen. But I had a plan.
I scanned the length of the aisle at the One Stop. The bright, fluorescent bulbs felt like a spotlight, a beacon for any passersby, alerting them to what I was doing. My attention turned back to the shelves, skimming the boxes of johnnies: Thin. Ribbed. Magnum. Glow in the dark. I didn’t know where the hell to start. Although, I guessed glow in the dark might be helpful…
An old lady shuffled around the corner with her walker, and I panicked, grabbing a box of the glow in the dark rubbers and shoving them inside my jacket before heading to the exit.
"Hey!"
"Ah, shit." I rushed out of the store, taking off in the direction of the camp. But when I chanced a look over my shoulder, a guy in a One Stop vest was chasing after me, which meant I couldn't go back to the camp. I hooked it around a corner and darted down an alley, changing course and booking it to Poppy’s. I vaulted the gate and climbed the trellis, tumbling in through her open window, completely out of breath.
"Do you ever use a door?" Poppy asked.
When I glanced up, I was shocked to see Connor sitting on the floor next to her. A math book laid open between them, but they were close enough that their knees touched.
"You two look cozy." I forced a mask over the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Honestly, I wanted to sit close to Poppy like that, but I couldn’t. Not without wanting to run my fingers through her soft hair, or inhale the sweet smell of her perfume. I'd much rather have been planning to lose my virginity to Poppy rather than Lisa, but Connor liked her. No. Helovedher. That boy had always looked at Poppy Turner as if she hung the moon, and I understood why. I really did. She was kind and good; she was everything lacking in my life and everything I craved. Everything. And I cherished her far too much to ever pull her down to my level. My dad said I was good for nothing, and Poppy, well, she needed someone good for something. Connor was good, and I saw how happy it made him when Poppy smiled at him. So I swallowed my own feelings and teased them both like I didn’t care, even though seeing them like that made my insides twist.
"Shut it, Brandon.” Poppy shoved me. “What did you nick this time?"
Connor arched a brow. "A nudey magazine?"
I flashed them a wide smile. Despite the situation, they were both my best friends, and I was about to make what was potentially the biggest step in a man’s life. "Check this shit out." I pulled out the box from under my jacket and threw it at Connor. "Glow in the dark johnnies. I'm gonna pop Lisa's cherry with a lightsaber dick."
The smile on Poppy's face fell clean off. She looked away, but I pretended not to notice.
"What?" Con snatched them off the carpet. "Glow in the dark johnnies? Who would’ve thought?" He tossed them back. "You know you have to date her if you pop her cherry. It's a rule.."
"I do not! I bought her flowers for Christ’s sake. Jesus and me talked about it."
"Lisa? Really, Brandon. She’s not even cute.” Poppy’s arms were crossed, her gaze glued to the wall.
Poppy was jealous, but I remained in blissful denial. She was my friend. That was it. I refused to acknowledge the fact that I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, because, apart from Con, she was my best friend. And although I was ruled by hormones, when it came to Poppy, I was determined not to let those desires win.
“You could do better,” she said.
"Yeah, but she has massive boobs. That's the most important thing about a girl. Everyone knows that."
It was obvious from the way Connor’s lips rolled in that he was trying his best not to laugh.
Poppy’s gaze dropped to her chest, and a deep frown etched across her face. "Nice to know. I don't have big boobs."
"Ah, poss. You don't count. You’re my best friend."
"I like your boobs, Poppy.” Connor’s eyes went wide like he had shocked himself.
I doubled over in laughter, Poppy shoved him, and he toppled over on the floor, his cheeks cherry red.
I stuffed the condoms inside my jacket pocket on my way to the window. After I threw my leg over the ledge, I paused. "Next time you see me, I'll be a changed man." Then I climbed down from Poppy’s window, feeling a lot less confident than I pretended to be.
* * *
Lisa’s housewas on the nice side of town, where rows of three-story brick townhomes sat nestled among shiny new cars. A few years ago, girls from this side of town wouldn’t have given me a second glance…
Crickets chirped in the bushes, silencing when I walked up the empty driveway to the dark townhome. I knocked on the door and waited, unable to find a good place for my hands—my pockets, my sides. When no one answered, I almost sighed in relief. Just as I turned to leave, a light inside cut on, spilling through the small semi-circle of glass in the front door. Lisa pulled it open, and we stood in awkward silence the way only two virginal teenagers could.
