Page 39 of The Beginning and End of Everything
I sat at the bus stop across the road, watching through the shop window. One of Hope’s dresses clung to Poppy’s tiny frame, leaving nothing to the imagination, which pissed me off a treat. Not to mention, the arsehole who bought her ice cream looked like a fully-grown man and was clearly a pervert.
She sat across from him, twirling the friendship bracelet I’d given her years ago—fidgeting the way she did whenever she was nervous or uncomfortable. With each passing second, my pulse rose until I was certain I was about to have a heart attack.
After about an hour, they left, and I followed, trying to remain rational while telling myself that I was only making sure she was safe.
Halfway down the block, his hand came around her waist, and he pulled her close. That was all it took.
In an instant, I was right behind them, grabbing Liam and shoving him against the glass front of a shop that was locked up for the night.
A moment of shock flashed over his face before his brows pulled together. His frame tightened, and he swung. He may have been bigger than me—probably stronger—but not faster. I dodged—the movement now second nature—before my fist met his nose. Blood splattered the dark shop window.
“Aw. Shit!” He doubled over and clutched his face.
“Brandon!” Poppy grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled until the fabric ripped. “Stop it!”
“You stay the fuck away from her!” I spat, jabbing a finger into his chest.
He tried to shove me away, but I punched him in the gut, forcing him to double over on a cough. Poppy tugged me harder this time, but I couldn’t tear myself from the red mist descending over me. In a fight, it helped, but it wasn’t until I took a step back and Liam staggered away, that I realized the damage I’d just done.
“I can’t believe you.” Poppy’s arms came around her body like she was shielding herself from the cold, even though it was sweltering hot outside. A look of disappointment fell over her face, and my shoulders fell. “Just tell me why, Brandon.”
“You’re sixteen. The guy was a pervert.”
She took a step toward me, anger ticcing in her jaw. “Lisa Swinson, Slutty Suzie.” She jabbed a finger at my chest. “Brenda O’Malley, Nieve Kirkpatrick. Lola Stevens.” Each name was a bullet through my heart, and with each one, her finger dug deeper into my skin. “And you don’t date them. You just screw them. So who’s the pervert, Brandon? Huh?”
“It’s different.”
The sarcastic laugh echoed from the vacant buildings cut me deep. “Of course it is.” She went to turn, then froze. Her gaze swung right back to me, jaw tense. “I guess you can parade however many girls around in front of me, and I just have to take it. Huh?”
Frustration tightened my chest. Years of unspoken words lingered between us, just waiting to bubble over. “You’re good, Poppy. Too good for Liam, and sure as hell too good for someone like me. All those girls. They’re just…” I threw my hands into the air.
“Justwhat, Brandon?”
There was a beat of silence, a moment where I almost swallowed the words, but unlike every other time, I didn’t.
“Not you,” I confessed.
Her expression fell blank. Tears swam in her eyes, and I hated myself for doing this to her, but it was for the best.
“I love you, poss,” I said, and her breath hitched. No matter how badly it sucked right now. It was so for the best. I had to kill any chance there was for us to be anything more than we were right now. “You’re my best friend.”
Her lips parted like she was going to speak, but instead, she shook her head again and walked off.
I fell forward a step, wanting to follow her, but I knew I’d just screwed up. I saw exactly how this would go. It was all mapped out in front of me.
We weren’t kids anymore, and one way or another, I was about to lose Poppy. And I knew it. I could choose to be with her and drag her right down to my level. Ruin her. Or I could watch her be with someone else. The idea killed me, but if I kept doing this, she would end up hating me, and I needed her. More than she could ever know.
There was only one person who I could stomach her being with. One person who was good enough for her—Connor, and he was already in love with her.
It was all so simple. They would be happy together, and I would always choose their happiness over mine.
Later that same evening,I sat at the table with Connor’s family, my stomach churning as we ate Mrs. Blaine’s bacon and cabbage stew.
After dinner, we went to Connor’s room to play video games, but my mind was on other things. The game was nothing but a blur in the background, which meant I kept losing to Con.
“You okay?” Connor finally asked, pausing the game.
With a deep sigh, I put my controller down. “Con, be honest. Do you love Poppy?”
