Page 113 of No Romeo
He dug into his pocket and held out a box with a bright-green ring situated in the middle of the black velvet. “This is the first thing I didn’t steal for you,” he said. “Because I traded my guitar for it over two years ago.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. He’d kept it for two years… That may not seem like a big deal for most people, but Hendrix had been desperate. He could have pawned that ring, gone and gotten his guitar back, and yet, he hadn’t… He’d held onto it the same way I’d held onto Sid. There was not a single doubt that I wanted to spend every minute of the rest of my life with that boy. I wanted to scream “Yes,” but I bit the inside of my cheek and stopped myself. I couldn’t.
Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at that ring and realized how close we were to having everything. How damn close…I’d been willing to live a lie with him, to protect him, but now the only person I was protecting was me.
He loved me, which meant he deserved the truth, and I couldn’t promise him forever based on lies. I took a breath and closed my eyes. “I have to tell you something,” I whispered.
Silent seconds passed while I tried to find the words. While I tried to tamper my emotions and prepare myself for his anger, his possible rejection…
“I already know,” he said.
I opened my eyes and took in the worried expression on his face… “Already know what?”
He moved closer, sweeping his hand into my hair. “I should have known you didn’t cheat on me.”
The sound of car doors shutting and kids giggling somewhere in the neighborhood drifted into the treehouse. Each beat of my heart felt jilted, uneven as fear set in. I fought it back. He couldn’t know. How would he? But the broken look on his face…
“I’m so fucking sorry, Lola.” Tears and hurt built in his blue eyes, and that was when I knew heknew.
That was when my own tears fell.
So many times, I’d wanted to tell him the truth, but now that I was faced with the reality, I was ashamed. Every horrible, self-loathing emotion rose to the surface until I felt sick. Until I wondered if he felt sick.
I pulled away and leaned back against the damp wall, tears silently streaming down my cheeks, and Hendrix cried with me, the open ring box still clasped in his hand.
“I can’t take it if you leave me again, Lola.” His words were hushed, pained.
“What?” I cried harder. “Why wouldIleaveyou?”
His chin dropped to his chest, the fairy lights catching his dark hair as he shifted across the floorboards.
He looked broken… guilty… Why would he look guilty?
“Hendrix…”
The pieces came together in my mind, creating a reality I’d spent two years doing everything to avoid. He knew. Johan was dead. And Hendrix knew he’d raped me…
“I’ll always protect you, Lola.” His gaze met mine, and he looked at me like he loved me. Like he’d kill for me... “It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d never seen you again. If it had been ten, twenty, thirty years from now; if you had been married to someone else, the second I found out, I would have made him pay.”
And hadn’t I always known that? “That’s why I lied,” I whispered.
“I know that now.”
Then silence fell between us. The chirp of crickets sounded outside. Somewhere in the distance, the soft lull of old Christmas carols echoed through the cold night. And we were right there. In the treehouse, shrouded with our secrets.
But what did they change? Anything? Two years of lying hadn’t changed a thing.
I looked at Hendrix, at the boy who had protected me all of my life. The boy I had broken—no, the boy Johan had broken right along with the girl he loved.
If I’d learned anything in the past two years, it was that a person couldn’t change the past. In Dayton, there wasn’t much any of us could do to change the future. If Hendrixhadkilled Johan, if he had gotten caught, would I really give up one more day with him?
No, I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to know if he’d done it. I didn’t care beyond the possibility of him being taken from me.
“Fuck, Lola…” Hendrix used his sleeve to wipe the tears from his face, then he grabbed my cold hand in his. “There hasn’t been a damn day since I met you that I haven’t thought about you. Haven’t needed you.” His thumb swept over my knuckles. “Loving you is the only damn thing in life that I know will never change.” He slipped the ring on my finger. “I’m not letting you leave. I’m not letting you say no.”
I laughed through tears and glanced at the ring.
I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t pictured my entire life with Hendrix. When he didn’t represent forever. That hadn’t changed, and it never would, no matter what he did. Because he’d never do anything to hurt me. He’d always protect me and love me. And that was more than most people got to have.
